My Dad's Words of Help

Date: Sat, 13 Jul 1996 17:59:31 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: My Dad's Words of Help

My name is Daniel Lins and I live in Brazil. My dad's been in coma for two weeks now in his terminal phase of a brain tumor which he's been carrying for 6 long years. Although he's made everything the doctors told him to do, the tumor always returned.

After a biopsy and a treatment at Columbia Presbitherian in N.Y. on Feb95, he wrote some words about how to turn around all the dificulties that every cancer patient certainly goes through and how to minimize suffer and have a different look on facing life one's still have in front of them. He's a very intelligent person.

My dad is almost going away and I must do something to alleviate my pain. I think the best I can do for him now is to share these papers with people in the same situation, since his words are very beautiful and bright. I'm sure he'd like me to help other people. Where else in the Internet should I send it to? I'll be very happy knowing that somebody enjoyed it and intends to spread it over. Be free to mail me back.

Written by: Carlos Alberto Tinoco Marques

ďThese short writings have the intention of transmitting to the cancer patient some advices come from my own experience as a patient, and does not intend, anyhow, to substitute any medical recomendation. Before reading that, submit it to your doctor so that you can take his advice on going on this text.

* Be surrounded by your beloved relatives and friends. Call that friend you love so much and who you havenít seen for years for a visit. Say how much you love him or her. Let your heart and mind be aware of how many people love you. Have your family or any beloved human or pet beside you. Love is very powerful. It doesnít matter the source.

* Ask a psychology-field professional for accompanying during your treatment. It will have a great utility since you will need your spirit and intellect to be as educated as possible so that you have energy, motivation and strong-mindedness at disposal.

* Donít waste your energy with negative ideas and thoughts.

* Always think in a positive way. It will bring an extra supply of energy which you will certainly need during the treatment.

* Donít fear the word cancer. During the past years, it has been associated to other negative words like suffering, ache, pain, and thatís why itís become a so hard and heavy word. That association is not often true. Medicine has evoluted so much and scientistsí new discoveries provide today several treating alternatives which complement themselves and make solutions emerge! Today, cancer has not necessarily been that incurable or uncontrollable disease anymore.

* From my own experience, I can tell you that Iíve never been through physical pain due to this illness. Brain cancer, in my case. Even mental suffering hasnít got me because since the beginning Iíve decided that I would not admit suffering in my life, and Iíve succeded! Iíve found out that I wasnít obliged to suffer and that was my option. 'Iíve simp decided it strongly and thatís it. I have'ít faled so far.

You can do the same! Have in mind that suffering is not obligatory, even if you'íre sick. Suffering is a creation of the human mind. Donít add more of it to the already unavoidable torments.

* You must probably have already asked yourself: why me? I would answer that itís you because it must be someone, and you are someone! If you won bunches of money in the lottery, would you also ask yourself that question? Certainly not.

* There is no reason for sorrow. It makes you feel like a ďpoor stick, which is energy stealing.

* Face reality with no revolt. Life knows what it does.

* ďThings are not what we would like them to be, not even what they should be. Things are exactly what they are.Ē - Santo Agostinho.

* Remember that everything has its bright and good side. Dung may be an excelent manure too.

* Observe that during the treatment period long, your sensibility probably has increased. So, take advantage of this in order to learn more about life and yourself. Take your benefits and profit, not everything is loss.

* Turn this period into a trip, a tour inside yourself and take a look at the scenery. Thereís nothing to be afraid of, you are inside your own element, youíre like that tree, those flowers, those stones, those clouds youíve seen during the trip. You are part of the same universe, the same Creation. If a leaf becomes dry and fall, nobody laments. Itís part of the Creation porposal, just like disease. Everybody wonders: Why? Have you asked yourself ďwhy have I become ill?Ē. Probably, the same reason for a leaf dries and falls: change and renovation. Life is made of changes, we want it or not. Donít we be afraid. Let yourself enter this condition, like a bird who receives the new wind course.

* Donít give it all up in the middle of the treatment, even if thereís no immediate cure, or even if it seems long or painful.

* Extended-life. Extended-life is also life. Live it.

* Keep yourself busy, and if you are able to, produce, create, invent something. Thereís always something to do which we have never done before.

* Show your cells that you are alive! Move, stir it up!

* That'ís an excelent time to give the example and show that you can turn around the most difficult moments with optimism and no desperation. Be the example to those around you. World is very destitute of good examples.

* Keep yourself optimist and smiling. Everybody will also smile in return. This optimistical environment is positive and you must be the first one to build it. Youíll be the one who will determine how the surrounding environment will be. No one else.

* Nature is never wrong. Try looking at it with different eyes. Everything is prettier than you think it is. For me, a butterfly is more than a butterfly. Look closer: the butterfly is a sobbing flower.Ē

* ďWe should be born very old people and, during life, improve body and soul, until we become babies and then, die, entering in our mothersí uterus. It'íd sure be much more beautiul.

Carlos Marques Brazil

Thatís all of my fatherís writings. I hope his words become help for othersí lifes. Everybody is free for reproducing and redistributing his text. God bless you all.

Daniel Lins
Rua AntŰnio Parreiras, 126 / 902 - Niterůi - R.J. BRAZIL
Tel: 55 - 21 - 6201447

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