Through what may seem to be a series of simple comments, observations
and epigrams, Kelly tells an essential truth; in life, there are
no guarantees, there are no promises, there are no certainties
other than death. How we deal with it, for good or ill, is what
makes us human.
"This is a book that touched me, enraged me, made me laugh,
cry and remember. I remembered those who had gone before and those
I could not bear to lose.
"And I thought of my grandfather. His fishing gear. And
all the friends who appeared before his body was cold asking for
just something to remember him by.
"The truth is here, in a way that provides better advice
and more insight than a hundred grief therapy books. It is the
"This small book fills a large void in helping friends
figure out how to show their support to those who have lost a
loved one. Full of practical advice culled from interviews with
survivors of all ages, the book suggests things to say and do
and what not to say or do—an invaluable guide for friends
of survivors." Tom Auer, Publisher, Bloomsbury Review
People from across the country who have lost family members dear
to them provide practical suggestions on what friends can do to
comfort a friend. This book emphasizes the importance of support
from friends. Comments include what to say, what to write and
how to help now as well as over time. The book also includes advice
on what not to do.
Widowed at age 34 and left with three small children, author
Lynn Kelly said she wrote the book because so many people asked
her what they should say and do for a friend who lost a loved
Some friends do things that are so incredibly kind that you
can never begin to repay them, Kelly said. On the other
hand, while no friend wants to say or do the wrong thing in this
situation, they sometimes do, and it hurts.
I did some research and found little available for those who
wanted to support a grieving friend. I knew what I thought was
helpful, but I wondered what others thought, so I decided to find
out. I interviewed people across the country, ages 17 to 90, from
all walks of life, who have suffered all kinds of loss. This book
is a compilation of their suggestions as well as my own. It is
meant to provide friends of the bereaved some ideas on how to
comfort a friend, and in so doing, I think people will find they
receive a little comfort for themselves. Lynn Kelly