Dearest Nanny,
I am creating this memorial to let you know that you will NEVER be forgotten by me, nor anyone else. I love you and thank you for being such a wonderful Nanny to me always. You were such a special person to me and you will always hold a special place in my heart. You taught me many important things, things that have helped me to become the person that I am today! And for that, I thank you and love you so much more every day! I miss you soo very much and there is NOT ONE DAY that goes by that I do not think of you and wish that I could have told you one more time that I love you! I know you knew that I loved you, but I took your time for granted, thinking that you would always be there, and for that, I am sorry!!

On that Wednesday night, when I was sitting in the waiting room, I prayed harder than I have ever prayed before that God would let you be okay. When I heard the words...the words that I will never forget...."I'm sorry, we did everything we could" all I could say was ....."I love you Nanny and I'm sorry"! I wish I would have went and seen you everyday, but now, all I can do is know in my heart that you knew i loved you. All that I can seem to think about now is that night and the next couple of days until your funeral. I don't know exactly why.....I try to think about happy times, but for some reason all I can picture is you, lying there, in the casket that papa picked out for you, beautiful as ever, yet SO cold to the touch. They made you look just like you though, Nanny, you would have been proud, even your makeup was perfect. :) I remember holding your hand so tight for so long, and I know this may sound weird, but I think I may have even felt your hand grow warm as I continued to hold it! I did not want to leave your side at the gravesite at the funeral. I didn't feel like it was fair, I guess I felt that you should have been able to live forever. I know now though,that you are happier now than you've ever been.

I need to ask one small favor of you though. Nanny, will you please help me to feel some kind of comfort about you being gone...it's so hard right now ....I want to see you and talk to so bad right now, but I can't. Please help me to think happy thoughts instead of thoughts of that dreadful night and the days after. I know you have a hand in what goes on up there, cause you and GOD have it like that:) so please help me get through this. And Please help momma, she is so lost without you...and it hurts me even more to see her hurt the way she does everyday!

Well....i guess I will say goodbye for now but not forever!!!! I love you very much Nanny, and once again, thank you for being YOU! I honestly don't know where our family would be right now if not for you!! I will love you ALWAYS!!!!!!!

Loving and missing you everyday........ Amber Janeller

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