It has been exactly 2 years since you left us J. Sometimes it feels like yesterday, and sometimes it feels like 200 years since I saw that smile of yours. Everyone says time heals, but I keep waiting. You were my little brother, and you always knew how special you were to me. I take great comfort in that. Things are so different without you, sometimes it seems surreal. I still every once in awhile see something, or hear something, and think, "I need to call J and tell him that." but you are so much farther away than a phone call now. My grief for you still hits me at odd times, usually when I least expect it. I saw a boy the other day that reminded me of Codi, and it was all I could do to get to the car without losing it. I often find myself wondering about your boys. It makes all of us so sad not to be a part of their lives. I hope someday that they will know how much they are loved by all of us. Austin looks just like Eleseh Ray. Its funny to compare their baby pictures. Maybe some day Austin and Codi will be able to know their other sisters. I pray all the time to God, that maybe some day K.J. will find it in her heart to let us be a part of their lives again. I know that you are watching over all of your beautiful children. I give your girls lots of hugs and kisses when I see them. So maybe you could do your sister a favor, and when you visit your boys while they sleep, give them an extra kiss from their aunt Jenny, and whisper to them that I love them. I will carry on down here on earth, for you, because I know thats what you would want. I wish I had a penny for every time I thought of you during the day, because I would be a very rich woman in no time. I am so glad you are my brother, and I am so gratful to God for letting me have you for 28 years. I will see you again, and until that time, give Pop a kiss from me. I Love You Always.

Jen

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