December 5, 1945 - May 3, 2004

She was a Mother, a Grandmother, a Sister, and a Daughter

My mother....my best-friend. I don't know what I am going to do without her. I miss her so much. It feels like there is this huge hole in my chest that is constantly aching for her. I am 30 years old....only 30...and I still need my mom so much. There is so much I don't know. I need someone to be proud of me and someone to tell me when I screw up. I am not ready for this at all.

I stare at her picture contantly now. And I cry. I have never cried so much. I am pushing everyone away. My brother, my boyfriend, my daughter. I don't want anyone but her. I just need her to hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright. I need to smell her....to feel her....to see her. My mom who suffered so much. I love her! Noone understands what is going on in my head. I want to be with my mom so much. I am so hurt and lonely. I am never going to be the same.

I went and put flowers on her grave today. Purple roses with a purple bow. I wanted to just lay down with her forever. What am I going to do? I can't survive this...I cannot exist without my mother...without a father. I have noone...but my aunt and my kids. My heart isn't broken, it's shattered.

I love you, Mom!!!

Margaret

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