My Love,
It's my second birthday without you and I'm already dreading going home from work...
Just knowing that you won't be there...cooking my favorite meal...
It's been almost two years now and I don't want to go on without you.
This entire past year has been a "fog" for me and I don't ever want to come out of it.
I need you so much and my body aches for you. You were too young to leave me and we hadn't been together long enough for you to go...why did you leave?
I am so angry...Angry at you...for being sick...for dying...ANGRIER at God...because He brought us together and then ripped us apart...ripped me right in two...
Everyone says that my anger is a good sign...but I don't see it that way...it's just another way to bring me down...everyone knows that you're not supposed to get angry with God...
We didn't get to love each other long enough...we didn't get to spend enough nights in each other's arms...we didn't get to take enough walks or vacations together...it was supposed to be forever...what happened to forever?
I still look for you every night when I pull up in the driveway..
expecting you to be in the kitchen waiting for me...expecting you to greet me at the door with your sweet and tender kisses...remember the first time we met...you met me at the door and gave me the sweetest kiss that I had ever had...just a quick peck but what an impression it made...
I so want to come be with you...if I could just figure out how...without it being a sin...because...then we both know...you'd be in Heaven and I'd be in my own personal hell...still...alone...
I love you...I miss you...I need you!

Forever and always...
You'll be my one and only...

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