In Loving Memory of

Manuel & Maria Guerra

JUNE 17, 2007 TODAY IS FATHERS DAY, IT IS JUST PAST 1 AM AND MY HEART IS HEAVY. I MISS YOU DADDY. IT'S BEEN 5 YEARS SINCE YOU LEFT US DADDY AND IT WILL BE 8 YEARS IN AUGUST SINCE WE LOST YOU MOM.I AM 54 YEARS OLD BUT THIS NIGHT I FEEL LIKE AN ORPHANED CHILD. I WOULD GIVE THE REST OF MY LIFE FOR JUST ONE BLESSED DAY WITH YOU BOTH. TO HEAR YOUR LAUGHTER AGAIN DADDY, IT WAS AS CONTAGIOUS AS YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR AND JUST TO SEE MY MOMMA'S SMILE AND FEEL YOUR HUG MOM. I MISS THE WELCOME IN YOUR EYES AND THE COMFORT OF YOUR PRESENCE IN MY LIFE. I AM LONELY FOR OUR HOME, IT DOES NOT MATTER THAT ONE GROWS UP AND MOVES AWAY BECAUSE HOME IS ALWAYS HOME AND MY HOME WAS ALWAYS WHERE EVER MY MOM AND DAD WERE.I MISS CALLING HOME AND TALKING TO YOU MOM,YOU KEPT ME UP ON EVERYTHING THAT WAS GOING ON IN THE FAMILY AND SOMETIMES WE TALKED FOR HOURS LIKE BEST FRIENDS INSTEAD OF MOTHER, DAUGHTER. I'M SO LOST WITHOUT YOU SOMETIMES AND THERES NOBODY TO SHARE FAMILY NEWS WITH ANYMORE.YOU WOULD BE SADDENED TO KNOW THAT OUR FAMILY HAS DRIFTED APART. EACH OF US CAUGHT UP IN OUR OWN WORLD AND EVEN THOUGH IN SOME CASES IT'S JUST A FEW MILES THAT SEPARATE US THE REALITY IS THAT IS SEEMS LIKE THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD. YOU WERE THE GLUE THAT HELD THAT SEAM TOGETHER AND WITH YOUR PASSING WE LOST SOMETHING PRECIOUS WITHIN US. EACH OF US DRIFTED AWAY, EACH IN SEARCH OF SOME SEMBLANCE OF NORMALCY, WHATEVER THAT MAY BE. MAYBE JUST SEEING MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS WAS A REMINDER OF THE PAIN THAT WE WERE SO DESPERATELY TRYING TO KEEP AT BAY.NOT WANTING TO BRING BACK THE TERRIBLE MEMORIES OF YOUR PASSING EACH AS HORRIBLE AS THE OTHER. WATCHING LEUKEMIA TAKE IT'S TOLL ON OUR MOM AND THE PAIN OF BEARING WITNESS TO THIS AWFUL CANCER THAT STOLE THE LIFE THAT WAS MY MOM UNTIL ALL THAT WAS LEFT WAS A SHADOW OF OUR BELOVED MOM. THEN DADDY AND THE SURGERY TO REPAIR TWO ANUERYSM'S BUT INSTEAD RESULTED IN OVER THREE WEEKS OF HELL FOR MY DADDY IN ICU AND AGAIN WE WERE FORCED TO WATCH DADDY LEAVE US AS HE WEAKENED A LITTLE MORE EACH DAY. MEMORIES THAT I PUSH TO BACK OF MY MIND JUST AS QUICK AS THEY SURFACE BECAUSE THE PAIN IS UNBEARABLE. YOU LEARN TO SHOVE IT BACK AND NOT DWELL ON THOSE WEEKS NOR LINGER TOO LONG ON THOSE DAYS SPENT IN THE HOSPICE OR THE ICU UNIT. BUT THEN OUT OF THE BLUE YOUR MIND CAN SABOTAGE YOUR INTENT AND YOU FIND YOURSELF CRYING AND REMEMBERING. BUT NOT TONIGHT, TONIGHT IS ONLY ABOUT MISSING YOU AND MOM AND REMEMBERING WITH NOSTALGIA ALL THE LOVE YOU GAVE US AND HOW WONDERFUL AND BLESSED I AM THAT GOD GIFTED ME WITH YOU AND MOM AS PARENTS. IF I CAN ONLY BE HALF AS GOOD A MOM AS MY MOM WAS THEN I WILL HAVE DONE VERY WELL. I WANT YOU AND DADDY TO KNOW THAT YOUR LESSONS IN LIFE AND COURAGE AND EVERYTHING THAT IS GOOD IN MY LIFE I'VE LEARNED FROM YOU AND I'M TRYING TO BE A GOOD PERSON AND I PROMISE THAT YOU WOULD NOT BE DISAPPOINTED IN YOUR DAUGHTER.THE CHAIN THAT WAS OUR FAMILY LOST TWO PRECIOUS LINKS BUT I KNOW THAT ONE BY ONE OUR CHAIN WILL LINK AGAIN.DADDY,HAPPY FATHERS DAY, HOW I WISH I COULD HUG YOU CLOSE TO MY HEART FOR JUST AN INSTANT ON THIS DAY.I LOVE YOU BOTH.

YOUR ELDEST DAUGHTER BEA GUERRA MARTINEZ