GriefNet Guest Book


 



Name:
Stephanie Berard
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
01 May 1999

Comments

Dear Griefnet, im a 15 yearold student in gray maine im a 9th grader in highschool i think that this is a great site for all those who really need as much support as they can its very scary to realize that things like this can really happen and it deffiantly has made me more aware... thanks sincerely stephanie ps my heart goes out to all the familys and friends of all that has lost.....

Name:
nicole
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
01 May 1999

Comments

I'm sorry for the parnet's of all who died.

Name:
Ashley Fobes
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
03 May 1999

Comments

Awsome

Name:
breanne
Email:
sabl4141
Date:
06 May 1999

Comments

i think ur web is great and i am glad therevare some christian peeps on the aol that dopnt curss,and i like that u put ur computer 2 good use

Name:
Melissa
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
08 May 1999

Comments

ii wrote a poem about the girl who died for believing in God. "So Be It" He came into the library I'm reading the Bible -forgive us our trespasses Lord give me strength -as we forgive those who trespass against us "Who believes in Jesus Christ?" -and lead us not into temptation Here's my split-second decision -but deliver us from evil To give up all that I am for God -for thine is the kingdom I get a sure sudden strength -and the power "I believe in Jesus Christ" -and the glory forever Lord send me home -amen if you read this please email me with your comments

Name:
Lisa
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
08 May 1999

Comments

It has been a long time since I have been at this sight. And again, it floors me. It is truly a remarkable place to visit. My mom died last June of Alzheimer's Disease and Monday would be her 74th birthday. Her birthday fell on Mother's day last year. It was so wonderful even though she had no clue what was going on. I miss her dearly. Thank you griefnet!

Name:
lisa wakeland
Email:
landrew89
Date:
09 May 1999

Comments

IT WILL BE ALMOST 4 MONTHS THAT HAS GONE BY SINCE ANDREW LEFT US. MY WHOLE FAMILY IS STILL AT A GREAT LOST AND CAN'T SEEM TO PULL THINGS TOGETHER. THE LOST OF A SON, GRANDSON, AND GREAT GRANDSON HAS LEFT US ALL WITH A BIG PEICE OF OUR HEARTS MISSING. EVERY DAY IS A CHALANGE. THE TEARS STILL COME AS FREQEUNT AS IF IT WAS YESTURDAY THAT THE NITEMARE BEGAN. I MISS YOU MY SWEET BABY...I LOOK FORWARD TO SOMEDAY SEEING YOU IN HEAVEN, 9 YEARS ON THIS EARTH WAS TO SHORT FOR ALL OF US. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU EVER SO MUCH. NOT A DAY GOES BY THAT I LOOK UP TO HEAVEN KNOWING YOUR BY GODS SIDE; BUT WISHING YOU WERE STILL ON EARTH WITH US! LOVE, MOM

Name:
Diane Williams
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
09 May 1999

Comments

My son died at 20 years old~he had cystic fibrosis~and had gone deaf 2 years prior to his death. He died at home with me, his girlfriend and best friend helping him. I hate cystic fibrosis a disease that robbed Jason of life one minute at a time. Jason intelligent,thoughtful,loving and happy. He left me full of hate, empty and wondering if there is a God. Thanks for the memorial section. Diane

Name:
SAD ONE
Email:
LINKOOO
Date:
09 May 1999

Comments

TODAY IS MOTHERS DAY, I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FIND MY WAY TO YOU MOM, WITH MY HEART AND THOUGHTS. YOU ARE GONE FROM THIS EARTH, AND I KEEP REACHING FOR THE PHONE TO CALL YOU. LOVE SADONE.

Name:
SAD ONE
Email:
LINKOOO
Date:
09 May 1999

Comments

I CAN SEE I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHOIS FINDING IT HARD TO LET GO OF PAIN, AND ANGER. BUT I REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THE LORD, CAN'T BE FOUND TO HOLD US WHEN NEEDED, ARE HIS ARMS TOO FULL OF THE WORLDS PAIN AND HURT, AND SOULS, THERE IS NO MORE ROOM!!!!

LORD, WHERE CAN YOU BE, I KNOW YOU ARE SOMEWHERE.


Name:
taz
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
10 May 1999

Comments

i feel for ya'll

Name:
Charlene
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
10 May 1999

Comments

All of us at Morehead High School in North Carolina are sorry you had to go through the tradgy and we sincerely hope you can overcome the grief and remember those students the way they were. We wish you the best of luck in your furture. And that you succeed in everything you do.

Name:
Teresa
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
12 May 1999

Comments

Thank you for such a beautiful sight to express my feelings.. I lost a Sister on April 4, 1992. She was 27 years old.. She was killed in a very bad car accident.. Then in 1997, January 10th I lost my Father to full blown cancer.. Life isn't easy without both of them, but I have found some comfort in knowing they are rejoicing with the Angels.. "GO REST HIGH ON THAT MOUNTAIN"... Lots of Love......... Your 3 beautiful children and your loving wife of 33 years...... Teresa, Betsy, James, and your wife, our mother Joyce....

Name:
Meme
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
13 May 1999

Comments

I lost my 27 year old son to "Sudden Cardiac Death". This is a non detectible and fatal birth defect. If anyone has any information on this subject, I would appreciate it.

meme


Name:
Kelly Berrigan
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
13 May 1999

Comments

Hello, I am a personal Coach with WISH, Women Improving Self Harmony. I lost my son, Conner Joseph, at birth. He was stillborn at 38 weeks, with a knotted cord. Since then, I have taken my pain, and made Conner into an angel of hope. I help others deal with their loss, and go forward. It is my way of keeping my precious son alive, in my heart! And, to give him purpose. I deal with many parenting issues, special education, early intervention, genetic disorders, and multiple births. But, I exclusively deal with grief, how to live with it, turn it around, and get through each day, that seems so hard to do at first. Please visit our website at www.wishcoaching.com, or email me at [email protected] While at the website, please sign up for our newsletter, with articles and information. ANd, PLEASE...Sign our message boards. They are monitored 24 hours a day, and we respond within that time frame. God Bless!

Name:
Krystal
Email:
Date:
13 May 1999

Comments

I am glad you are helping people cope with this AWFUL TRAGITY

Name:
Alicia Wells Owens
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
13 May 1999

Comments

Hello. Two years ago. I lost my mother to a disease that lasted for four years. I found the grief-net to be my greatest support system. I submitted a poem that I found in a magazine and have had several responses to that poem asking me for help through their grief process. I would just like to say thank you to grief-net and to Kendra for making this support system available to all of those that are in pain. Alicia Wells Owens

Name:
Aimee
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
15 May 1999

Comments

I am glad I found your site, however, I do not see anything regarding divorce, life shattering betrayal, and loss of trust and hope. Is there any site you know of that touches upon these subjects? Thank you very much =)

Name:
Pat Scarpello
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
15 May 1999

Comments

I have visited you web site, found it very informative, although I am looking for a support group for parents who have lost children to cancer. Is there such a support group? Thank you, Pat

Name:
Betty Noble
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
16 May 1999

Comments


Name:
Jim
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
16 May 1999

Comments

GOOD GRIEF!!!

You are cordially invited to a gathering of well wishers who have lost a loved one to death. The gathering also includes members of AOL Widowed, Widownet, MADD, The Compassionate Friends and Hospice groups from all over.

The Gathering is being based at Altamonte Springs, FL, 6 miles outside of Orlando July 9-11 (or longer for those who want. Saturday, July 11 you can enjoy an all day picnic affair at Wekiva Springs State Park with live entertainment and games, swimming, canoeing and other events.

Enjoy!


Name:
j medina
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
17 May 1999

Comments

I lost my 22month old son Austin two months ago. He was a victim of drowning. I would like to visit with other parents who have had a similar experience. How do you cope with the intense grief and guilt?

Name:
Kristin
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
17 May 1999

Comments

I had lost a friend a few months back, she was killed outside of her own home and I watched as it happened, I sometime wish it was me caus eshe was a true best friend and now I am all alone .

Name:
Brenda McFadden
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
17 May 1999

Comments

I lost my Dad two weeks before my 13th birthday and Mom lost the only man she ever loved, they had been married 21 years. She went on without hin and raised her three children but never did she forget her love. She taught us all well and instilled strong morals in us but most of all she taught us the love of our Lord and Savior and His Grace. She went on to be with her Savior and Daddy Feb. 9th, 1999. She had waited 43 years to be with Daddy again and although my heart is breaking I am happy for her.She is no longer confined to a wheele chair or bed or crying out in pain, but walking on Streets of Pure Gold. Yes, Mom I told you it was alright to go, go get some rest that I'd be alright but I'm not. My heart aches and hurts so bad. I always had you to turn to, what do I do now ? This site I go to every day and I do get a little peace from it. It is a great site and you are helping and touching people in more ways than I think you realize. Thank You

Name:
Stacye Waldrop
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
17 May 1999

Comments

My story begins at the age of two. My father was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. Over the next few yrs. I lost a close friend to M.S., lost close friends in car wrecks, my dearest aunt and uncle were killed by a drunk driver, then my father was killed in a nursing home by an aide there. One year later, both my granmothers passed away due to Alzheimer's and Cancer. The last few years have been horrifying at the least. No one seems to understand me, I can't seem to understand anyone either. I know I am not alone, but I can't help feeling that way. I am only 23 yrs. old, been married one year to a wonderful man, that gives me hope in life, but this has taken a toll on our new marriage too. I have made it, and I will continue to make it. For those who don't know the pain of loss God bless you, but remember a friend in pain is a friend in need. Don't wait until it is too late, reach out, if only to listen. God bless all who have fought the good fight. Good luck to all of those who float in my boat too! I'll pray for you if you'll pray for me. Sincerely, Stacye

Name:
Stacye Waldrop
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
17 May 1999

Comments

It is not the bad memories that make me cry, it's the good ones. It is not God that I am angry at, it is the disease. It is not 'why' that I ask anymore, it is God's will. Either I can accept this and move one, or live in denial and anger forever. It is my choice.

When in need, just repeat these words. You will believe them. You will make the right choice. You will make it.

Stacye


Name:
Karen Carlson
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
17 May 1999

Comments

My nephew has a thought disorder. It is so very painful for us all. Please send workds and anytihng that would hlep the family understand. I am reading Gorege Anderson's new ook. Karen Carlson

Name:
Judy
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
18 May 1999

Comments

Thank you. I was browsing getting ready to facilitate my Hospice bereavement group for this evening and came across your site. I am grateful that others at now just a finger click away. Great job Cendra.....I'm in private practice in Burlington, VT....grew up in Plymouth, MI. Be well.

Name:
Raquel Weedman
Email:
[email protected].net
Date:
19 May 1999

Comments

I think its a good idea. It also helps me in remembering my little girl.

Name:
SAD ONE
Email:
LINKOOO
Date:
19 May 1999

Comments

IM MISSING YOU MOM, SO VERY MUCH, THERE ARE ALOT OF PEOPLE HERE IN SO MUCH PAIN.

Name:
Jobeth Hillmer
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
20 May 1999

Comments

I have been searching for months, since the death of my mother for someplace that talked about the death of one's parents. Being an adult does not mean you are immune to loss, and I'am having trouble now after 7 months that I did not have at first. waves of grief that wash over me out of the blue. Grief so deep it knocks the breath out of me for a few moments. I have been worried that maybe it was not "normal" to feel like this. Thank you for a place where someone can go and see they are not the only ones who still feel the loss of a loved one long after the people around them feel they should be "over" it.

Name:
Sharon
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
21 May 1999

Comments

I lost my Mom after a two year battle with Lung cancer. During the past month I have been her caregiver with the help of a Hospice VNA. I am feeling so guilty that I had to give her pain medicine which put her in a coma. She died a horrible death that took 12 hrs of suffering. I lay in bed with her and held her the whole time and now I can't get the image out of my mind, my dreams and my heart. I wake up crying and cry in my sleep. Anyone out there going thru this process, please contact me.

Name:
Kristy
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
21 May 1999

Comments

I lost my only brother on January 8, 1999 to a brain aneurysm. He was nineteen years old, and expecting a baby. I think the only thing keeping his death from really hitting me is the anticipation of the birth of my niece, who will be named Brittany Rain, the name he chose. She is due around July 13, 1999. I hope this site will help me to contact people my age (21), or people who have been through a similar situation.

Name:
Rev. Patrick E. Wadsworth, LPC
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
21 May 1999

Comments

I arrived here looking for grief education resources which I can use with groups. So far, I don't see such resources here.

Name:
Ann
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
22 May 1999

Comments

I miss my mother terribly. She died 3000 miles away from me while I was away in med school only 2 Christmases ago. I didn't get to say good-bye. I flew home so quickly when I got that fateful call. I can't forget seeing her before she was cremated, and waves of breathtaking grief just pound over my heart. Her face was almost unreal, I remember her lying before me in the dress which I had bought for her as a gift earlier, not knowing that she would die before I could give it to her. I used to dream that once I had finally become a doctor, I would be able to give her all those fine things that we could not afford when I was little when my father was scraping out a living for us. I should have told her I loved her more rather than be annoyed with her for worrying about me. I kept telling myself that one day, I would shower her with the fine commodities which never materialized in our humble little house. "Then," I said to myself, "she'll know that I love her, in spite of our differences." After she died, I cried every day for a year, gut-wrenching, awful tears. This last Mother's day, I wanted to stay in bed all day and cry into my pillow. I am 27, but I feel helpless and lost without you, Mom. I didn't know I would miss you this much. When I finally graduate, I wanted you to see me. You won't be there for my wedding. And now, although it's been two years, I feel like crumpling from pain whenever I see a daughter and mother together. Will anything ever heal this sad, damaged heart of mine?


Name:
Kelly
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
23 May 1999

Comments

this site, is very helpful, it has lots of information on how to deal with death, and you can make many friends who have been through the same thing as you.

Name:
angela
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
24 May 1999

Comments

I've been looking, and there are sites for parents of children who have been murdered. But are there any sites or chat rooms for those who've had their parents murdered? Looking for help. Angela

Name:
mari Lyn
Email:
TX1-ML
Date:
25 May 1999

Comments

Hi, i,ve been reading what you all have wrote and i feel upset that so many have passed away because of the horrible acts of two people in Littleton. i feel for all the parents, sisters, brothers, and friends I know you have lost someone dear to heart and remember God is always there for youand will help you just don't lose your sight on him. i pray that this will not happen in mine or an other schools , everywhere in san antonio we have been getting bomb treats and i hope it stops

Name:
Coment'Alezvous
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
29 May 1999

Comments

My beautiful and thoughtful soon-to-be doctor daughter recommended your home page to me several days ago. We shared a common grief--the loss of my beloved wife, my daughter's dear mother. I put off looking into the griefnet, then reluctantly keyed in the home page address. I was somewhat surprised to see her comments on her mother's passing. We were both struggling with our loss, and I frequently leaned on her for comfort, but I soon realized I was imposing my grief on top of hers and inhibiting her ability to stay on top of her studies. I immediately resolved to put my love above my grief, to help her through hers. It hasn't been easy at all, but it seemed to help dull the pain. For the most part our family life was chaotic at best, but my prayers to God and Jesus the Christ always gave me renewed strength and hope for a new and brighter tomorrow. Our road had more than its share of valleys than peaks, and somedays were desperately unh

Name:
Audra Woodward
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
30 May 1999

Comments

I think it's great that you have a website to help people with death. I lost my best friend about two months ago to a car accident. He was only 17. I noticed that there wasn't a group that I felt was fitting to my situation. I just thought I would notify you of that.

Audra Woodward


Name:
candace mozak
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
31 May 1999

Comments

My mother just died in feb 25,1999. She had Altzhemiers disease for over 10 years. it started very sutly and she got worse and worse. las year she fell and fractured her hip and it was downhill from then on. My sister and I both took turns for the last year taking care of her. It was very hard as she was total care and lifting. Anyway I am missing her so much I cant believe shes gone. We brought her home from the hospital and she died at hhome with Hospice. It took a week before she decided to go she wanted to be sure I believe that all of our family would be alright. Anyway I have a million feelings going on or IM numb. I see a grief therapist a Psycologist and I have been diagnosed with borderline personality depressive disorder panic attacks anxiety disorder post traumatic stress sydrome and im on meds for all this but since my mom died i have gotten worse and its really hard to explain but my mom was my bestfriend and loved me uncondionally but it was a very sick relationship I was totally dependent on her my whole life. I guess im rambling but IM glad I found this site. Thanks for letting me vent. candace

Name:
mustang
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
03 Jun 1999

Comments

This is the first time, I have been here, and would just like to visit. I actually stumbled across this and trying to get my uncle, who died of cancer, off my mind. So,I could go to sleep. I am really glad I found this place.thanks. Now I have found some place, to write and dry my eyes. We were really close, andit is really hard. thanks again.

Name:
Cindy
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
04 Jun 1999

Comments

Very supportive. Thanks.

Name:
Paula Britt
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
04 Jun 1999

Comments

I have been looking for a place like this for a while now, & I believe I have finally found it. I lost my beautiful daughter Heather Anne almost 3 years ago (March 23, 1979 - June 14, 1996)in a traffic accident at the young age of 17 & it has been very hard on me to cope from day to day, week to week, but I'm making it by the Grace of the good Lord & many prayers. I'm hoping & praying that I can find true friends who know what I'm going though to e-mail me with any help possible. Thank you for being here for all of us in our time of need & God Bless all of you that have suffered great losses. I love you my Beautiful baby girl, Love, MOM

Name:
dorsi
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
04 Jun 1999

Comments

It has been 12 months since my husband died and I still miss him terribly. We had been married over 47 years. He was my best friend and we were constantly together. I have things to keep me busy during the day but the evenings are so long and empty.It's to bad that there is no magic formula to use but I realize it all takes time and time seems to be what I have.

Name:
Barbara
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
05 Jun 1999

Comments

I am trying to no avail to access teh "Spouses of Suicides" website. I was a frequent contributor back in Feb (when my husband died while we lived in Germany), but now that I am returned to the US (to begin my new life alone, I am unable to check in with that same site - my household things are still in storage so I don't have all my old notes and my own computere - still using my 14 year old neice's address, thus the craziness... CAn anyone help me? I'd like to talk with my old friends at this site. Thank you.

Name:
Lauren
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
09 Jun 1999

Comments

Hi, My name is Lauren. I'm 38 years old and I lost my mom a year and a half ago. I joined the griefnet adult-parents back in December 1998 and I'm still in it. I found it a very safe place to go to, where I don't have to hide my feelings and emotions. I've become close to many of the group members, and all I have to say if you have lost a parent, child, or any one you loved this is the place to go. Thank you Griefnet and Ceandra. You've been a life saver. Love and Peace. Lauren.

Name:
Stacey
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
10 Jun 1999

Comments

This program is helping a little, although no one can change the fact that my puppy is gone. It seems we all share the same problems, and face the same difficulties. I felt I had to do something for Missy, and I felt a lot better now that I added a memorial. "Missy I will never forget you, I will always love and miss you" forever STACEY

Name:
Stacey
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
10 Jun 1999

Comments

This program is helping a little, although no one can change the fact that my puppy is gone. It seems we all share the same problems, and face the same difficulties. I felt I had to do something for Missy, and I felt a lot better now that I added a memorial. "Missy I will never forget you, I will always love and miss you" forever STACEY

Name:
Donna F. Day
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
11 Jun 1999

Comments

There are many types of grief a human being goes through during his lifetime. Death is definately one of those great ones. But, there are many many more and each grief is different for each person. Loosing a child or parent to death is very hard but so is loosing a child or parent to Prison, or to Alcohol and Drugs. We all have our griefs and should always help each other stand up to them.

Name:
SADONE
Email:
LINKOOO
Date:
12 Jun 1999

Comments

TOMARROW IS YOUR BIRTHDAY MOM, LAST NIGHT I DREAMED OF YOU. THE TEARS AND THE MEMORIES OF YOU IN THE HOSPITAL WON'T GO AWAY. I MISS YOU SO MUCH. I HOPE WHERE EVER YOU ARE, YOU ARE AT PEACE AND THINK OF US.

LOVE SADONE


Name:
Brenda
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
13 Jun 1999

Comments

My husband died on March 7th of a glioblastoma (deadly brain tumor). I have never know that a human could be in the excruciating pain I am in. I am empty, scared and lonely. My beloved was my everything. My very best friend. This is the worst crisis of my life and I want to talk to him about it. He always was there for me, and now when I need him most, he's gone. I am still in shock and denial. When does the acceptance set in? How can I get my faith back. God, I feel, is somehow punishing me. Please, help me to believe again.

Name:
3
Email:
Date:
13 Jun 1999

Comments


Name:
julia
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
13 Jun 1999

Comments

I have been searching for info on chats and disabilities...i have just learned that i have a severe form of FMS and probably wont be able to return to a job so i am looking for ways to help others...it is odd how by helping others it takes my mind off of my pain and problems. I have also lost a son to SIDS back in 1986, he was 8 months old and weighed 12 pounds..he was a premie who went through so much for a baby. I think that sites as this one help a lot and I so hope that by vounteering that I may help others with their problems...even if it just listening or a soul to lean upon...my heart goes to those of us who have lost and those that yet have to suffer...may Gods Angels watch over us all.

Name:
Arthur Whaling
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
16 Jun 1999

Comments

I teach a grief recovery workshop every six months at our Church. I will be glad to add your website to the list of resources I make available to those who attend. Notes from those in the grief process and the resources you make avaiable will be a help in the healing process. Thanks for being here for all those who need you in their season of pain.

Name:
Bertha
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
17 Jun 1999

Comments

Your web site is very good and informational...unfortunately the list I had subscribed to does not fit my needs. Should I know of anyone having lost a child or spouse I will refer them to this site. Bertha

Name:
Lorraine
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
19 Jun 1999

Comments

For 35 years I fought for your love and attention Mother. Little did I know that I would take my own son to tell me how much you despise me and the awful things that you would tell people about me that weren't true. I forgave you along time ago for the things that you did to me and my brother but when it comes to my child, that is a whole different issue. You have permanantly ended our relationship. There is no truning back now. Between the prozac, three therapists, my husband and my son, you will never be able to hurt me again. Although I know this is for the best, and you never really treated me like a daughter with love and I know that you never really wanted to have me and hated raising me, I am mourning at the loss of a Mother. Although you never really acted much like a Mother, you were the only one I had and now I must continue my life with out you. I don't know how I am going to do that. I guess I will just focus on the four children of my own and how deeply I love them and how much I love my husband and how wonderful he is to me. I am so lucky to have so many great people around me that love me as much as I love them. You sit in your big estate with your big bills, no friends and no one who truly loves you and you don't love anyone accept yourself. There is a saying "The way you treat your children when they are little, is the way that they will treat you when you are old." I could never in my life time do to anyone what you and Dad did to me. 19 years of every type of abuse known. You are creul and evil people. I will just leave you alone and let you float threw you misery alone. You will not have the joy of seeing your grandchildren. You will not spend family dinners and holidays with us and you will never talk to me again. As you know, I will not answer your calls and we are planning to move away. You will not know where we are. For mine and my families sake, you will never be invited or allowed into our lives again. You are now dead to all of us. Your name is not allowed to be mentioned in out home, and when you leave your messages on the answering machine, my husband will immediately erase them. You allowed me to be beaten, molested, mentally and physically abused and you also are guilty of the many years of beating me and treating me as trash. As a servant. Good bye Mother. I wish I was the one who was adopted out instead of my sister so then I would not be having to grieve over someone who never cared about me and still doesn't. It will be a healthy change for me to be able to say, "My Mother is dead" when people ask me about you. You are a terrible Mother, Person, Wife and Woman. What goes around comes around. You have not even begun your journey yet. I hope you rot in hell.

Name:
Mary S.
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
20 Jun 1999

Comments

Thank you very much for this website being here. I was referred by a e-friend at another site and she was absolutely right. I'll be back for more support soon. Father's Day is a hard time for our family as both Mom and Dad died on same weekend, however 13 years apart. Mom first, then Dad last year. Thank you again.

Name:
Leeola Duncan
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
21 Jun 1999

Comments

Mum, it's been 9 months since you left, l miss you so very much it hurts l'm really trying to get through this and somehow hold my head high and remember how proud l am in being your daughter Leeola

Name:
Leeola Duncan
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
21 Jun 1999

Comments

Mum, it's been 9 months since you left, l miss you so very much it hurts l'm really trying to get through this and somehow hold my head high and remember how proud l am in being your daughter Leeola

Name:
Courtney Barris
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
21 Jun 1999

Comments

I am 20 years old and just lost my dad to small cell lung cancer in January 1999.

Name:
Lisa Dempster
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
21 Jun 1999

Comments

On May 11th, 1998 life ended as we knew it when our beautiful son Nicholas lost his life in a drowning accident. He had just turned four on the 26th of April. It has been an indescribable fourteen months of pain and anguish. Some people say it gets easier with time. Is there anyone "out there" that would know if this is true. I still long every single minute of every day to have Nicholas back and and knowing that I can't makes me so miserable. I am trying to live for me two year old daughter. Anyone who have lost a young child particularly through drowning, I would love to hear from you. I am a christian and it the hope of seeing Nicholas again that have gotten me through to this point thus far.

Name:
Linda Sabade
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
25 Jun 1999

Comments

MY SON JEFF DIED ON JAN 24TH,OF THIS YEAR IN A ONE CAR ACCIDENT .I STILL FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE. I CAN'T IMAJINE LIFE WITHOUT HIM AND NOT SURE I WANT TO . PEOPLE SAY IT GETS EASIER WITH TIME,BUT HAVEN'T SEEN THAT HAPPEN YET.IF ANYONE WOULD CARE TO E-MAIL ME AND TELL ME HOW TOCOPE WITH THIS I WOULD APPRECIATE IT

Name:
Lydia Knese
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
26 Jun 1999

Comments

It took me 6 years to get over my teenage sons death, he had luekemia and only lived 7 months after he was diagnosed. I attended a hospice support group for 3 years and finally made it thru the depression. This 4th of July would have been his 26th birthday.

Name:
Margie
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
29 Jun 1999

Comments

I think this site is wonderful. There are so many grieving people and this is a wonderful resource for them and for me. Thank you for making this available. Margie

Name:
Ray Lyons
Email:
DragOn6002
Date:
30 Jun 1999

Comments

All I want to know is why? Why did my friends Chris, Candice, and Katy die. I was just getting to know them. And why did they die will someone please tell me why. R.I.P. Chris, Candice, and Katy. See yous at Tha Crossroads

Name:
Tish Nye
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
30 Jun 1999

Comments

Thank you for this site. I am trying to get information for my daughter, her father and step-mother as they have lost a 19 year old boy to suicide this past week. My daughter and John were born 3 days apart and we were close family friends. John's mother and my ex-husband are now married (since the kids were 4 years old).

Joan does not have internet connectivity; however, I have printed several things for her.

Thanks again.


Name:
Linda Lane
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
02 Jul 1999

Comments

Our only son, Barry was killed in an accident @ work. We miss himso much. Only people who have lost a child can know what people like us are going thru. Barry was only twenty five when he died. When he was buried a part of mom and dad were buried also. We love you son!!! Mom and Dad

Name:
Nicole Barton
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
03 Jul 1999

Comments

I have found your page very informative, however I was searching for a 800# to give a friend who does not live in my area who is currently experienceing some dificulty.

Name:
Dana
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
03 Jul 1999

Comments

My daughter (14) lost her best friend last year, at school on the playground. His was a very popular young man and accomplished athelete. To this day the parents do not know what caused his death. Katie's relationship was that of friend and they shared a class together and a class trip to Washington, D.C. before he died. I didn't know the family because I didn't know how close they were until he died. Since then we have become close to the family. The mom is the same age as me and we have younger children the same age. Katie has spent time with them on a lot of the FIRSTS with them and I don't mind this, it's other people who seem to be uncomfortable. I prayed to GOD after his death and after witnessing how other people thought how they should be doing, that if something happened to Katie I wouldn't want all who were friends to not ever come around. In this case, there are lots of people who as they say "I wouldn't know what to say". I guess my question is : Is this normal for us to have this relationship and what should my answer be to other people?? Could somebody please e-mail be back. Thanks, Dana

Name:
Annette
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
03 Jul 1999

Comments

I am a 33 year old widow. I lost my husband on February 18, 1999. It still seems like yesterday. He was killed in a car accident about 5 miles before reaching our home after being out on an all day trip. He was my whole life for the past 10 years. I feel sometimes that it was my fault that he died. I always told him to call me if he was running late so I wouldn't worry. I believe he was trying to call me when he ran off the road and overturned. I also lost two friends and an accident I was in 11 years ago. It seems as though when things start going too good, someone lets you know not to let your guard up. I always thought this was something that happened to other people, so how has it happened to me twice?

Name:
Mary
Email:
[email protected],net
Date:
06 Jul 1999

Comments

This, is such a wonderful place. You,are what I have been looking for,For along time. Thanks for being here in such a time of need. Thank You.

Name:
Mary
Email:
[email protected],net
Date:
06 Jul 1999

Comments

This, is such a wonderful place. You,are what I have been looking for,For along time. Thanks for being here in such a time of need. Thank You.

Name:
Alexandra Kennedy
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
06 Jul 1999

Comments

In your bookstore, you've listed my book Losing a Parent as being available in 2-3 days through Amazon-- it is available in 24 hours. Could you change this? Thanks!

Name:
Joan
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
06 Jul 1999

Comments


Name:
Joan
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
06 Jul 1999

Comments


Name:
Amanda
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
07 Jul 1999

Comments

I am a 16-year-old girl. I not only have had to deal with the death of my Grandmother and great-uncle, but also with the deaths of 2 of my friends. Coping with a death is never an easy thing to do, but it is especially hard when it is someone your own age who has passed away. When I was 12, a friend of mine hung himself. Then last May, one of my friends died after taking a punch to the chest at a karate tournament. It wasn't till recently that I found Griefnet and Kidsaid, but I am so lucky I did. It is great to be able to talk to others my age of have also experience losses. I also appreciate your page in which I could make a memorial to my friends. This is such a great site for anying who is grieving and I am planning on putting a link to it on my website. Thanks again for such a wonderful site.

Amanda


Name:
Amanda
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
07 Jul 1999

Comments

I am a 16-year-old girl. I not only have had to deal with the death of my Grandmother and great-uncle, but also with the deaths of 2 of my friends. Coping with a death is never an easy thing to do, but it is especially hard when it is someone your own age who has passed away. When I was 12, a friend of mine hung himself. Then last May, one of my friends died after taking a punch to the chest at a karate tournament. It wasn't till recently that I found Griefnet and Kidsaid, but I am so lucky I did. It is great to be able to talk to others my age who have also experience losses. I also appreciate your page in which I could make a memorial to my friends. This is such a great site for anyone who is grieving and I am planning on putting a link to it on my website. Thanks again for such a wonderful site.

Amanda


Name:
Jim Thomasson
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
09 Jul 1999

Comments

Hydee Kell Medford Oregon, I really need to contact you concerning events of the last month or so Hope everything is OK with you? Please keep in touch I really worry about you... Love to you and your family and You are in my prayers daily JIMBO

Name:
Deborah Gilbert
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
09 Jul 1999

Comments

I'm glad I found your website.

Name:
Deborah Gilbert
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
09 Jul 1999

Comments

In August 1995 my 18-year-old son died in an auto accident. April 9, 1999, my husband died of a sudden and unexpected heart attack after a perfectly normal day. I've had a tough time with my grief and I'm happy to have found your website.

Deborah


Name:
Deborah Gilbert
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
09 Jul 1999

Comments

In August 1995 my 18-year-old son died in an auto accident. April 9, 1999, my husband died of a sudden and unexpected heart attack after a perfectly normal day. I've had a tough time with my grief and I'm happy to have found your website.

Deborah


Name:
becky cortesi
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
09 Jul 1999

Comments

I have an interest in child and adolescent grief and over the past few years I have researched child grief. I am a school social worker and during the summer I act as an inclusion summer camp counselor. The reason that I am writing you is to ask if you know of any summer grief camps in Illinois. I want to begin collecting information on as many grief camps as I can so that I can implement some of their ideas with my own. Could you please shed some light on any information that you may know of?

I am really interested in beginning support groups and camps for bereaved children. I don't think enough is being done for these kids and I want to begin to educate the rest of society on death and dying issues.

Thank You,

Becky Cortesi


Name:
Kathy Noll & Dr. Jay Carter
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
09 Jul 1999

Comments

Hello. Dr. Jay Carter & myself would like to help young people deal with Bullies & Self-esteem. Bullying is a serious topic, and we need to get the word out that kids and teens don't have to take it.  The American Justice Department says that 1 out of every 4 kids will be bullied this month. IT'S TIME TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Best Wishes, Kathy Noll with Dr. Jay Carter [email protected] Authors, "Taking the Bully by the Horns"

Name:
Evelyn
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
10 Jul 1999

Comments

Your article on Howie's sister dying is incorrect. It is his sister Caroline who died of lupus, not his sister Pollyanna. It is important that you recheck your information.

Name:
amanda
Email:
Date:
10 Jul 1999

Comments

my mother died on the first of june this year. it was very sudden and my father, brother and i are still stunned. she was 67 but not old at all. i want people to know that we had a humanist funeral which we called a celebration of her life. she wasn't a christian and none of the rest of us are. we did it the way that we felt was right. we had lesbian opera singers. we had stevie wonder's music - not in person unfortunately ! (the track was 'AS' from songs in the key of life). just wanted to say, no disrespect to religious people, but me and my dad were with her when she died and we didn't miss god.

Name:
Mandy
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
12 Jul 1999

Comments

I believe this is an extremely worthwhile site. I lost my beautiful dad to cancer on may 23rd 1999. I do not want to live my life without him yet but as dad said to me while he was so ill, "death is a part of life and unfortunitley we all have to accept it." People say I cope very well, the fact of the matter is I have no choice. I do send my best wishes to all of the millions of people out there who have lost a loved one.

Name:
Carolyn
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
13 Jul 1999

Comments

Your site is well designed, thoughtful, and tastefully appropriate. It has given me and my late husband's family comfort to find a place to honor the man we loved so much. He owned a computer design/consulting business, had several web pages of his own, in addition to those he created for others. Therefore, it is most fitting that he be honored here.

Name:
Carolyn
Email:
Date:
13 Jul 1999

Comments

My husband of only 8 years died suddenly of a massive heart attack on 1-21-99, at age 48. While he has been honored in many ways,finding your website gave both me and his family a place to offer a most fitting tribute - he owned a computer design/consulting business, had several of his own websites, and created many for others. Thank you for such a compassionate, thoughful site. May God bless you and all of us who struggle to find our way!

PLEASE NOTE: I have just finished grief support classes and had hoped your support group page would be for me. However, I found reading through 60-100 posts a day to be overwhelming and took far more time than I have right now. While I selected "recent" widows, the posts were NOT that at all - they ranged from loss of children, parents, siblings, & grandparents. While every single one has my deepest sympathy, it is only VERY recent widows that I needed to communicate with at this time.


Name:
carolyn
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
13 Jul 1999

Comments

Your caring, compassionate website has given both me and my husband's family yet another opportunity to honor the man we so loved. My husband of only 8 years died suddenly 1-21-99 at age 48, of a massive heart attack. To honor him in this way is most fitting, as he owned a computer design/consulting business, had several web pages of his own, and many he had created for others!!

ONE OTHER NOTE: I have just finished a grief support group and had hoped to communicate with other "recent" widows from your support groups page. However, in spite of indicating such, I found 60-100 posts a day to be quite overwhelming and far too time consuming, plus they varied from loss of child, sibling, parents, grandparents. While each and every one has my heartfelt sympathy, my need at this point was to communicate with ONLY a few, VERY RECENT widows, so I had to un-subscribe.


Name:
Peggy Sapphire
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
14 Jul 1999

Comments

I'm searching for help/ressources concerning parent's loss through the long term estrangement of an adult (living)child. Anything will be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Name:
patty lukasik
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
16 Jul 1999

Comments

i have recently lost both parents within 7 and 1/2 months of each other and does it ever get easier????

Name:
JNANZER
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
18 Jul 1999

Comments

THIS IS A GOOD SITE I HOPE MY NEPHEW NOAH READS IT. IT COULD BE VERY HELPFUL TO HIM. HE LOST HIS BROTHER ADAM 6/3/99.

Name:
Tracy Sanford
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
19 Jul 1999

Comments

When you request donations you need to keep in mind that a lot of parents are not in the possition to make donations to anyone.

Name:
Kathleen
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
19 Jul 1999

Comments

I am going through a really tough loss and it is just about impossible to find a support group anywhere. My beautiful 23 year old daughter has left us. We were a happy family who did everything together and a controlling boyfriend came along and for a whole year now she has been gone. My heart breaks everyday. There is no closure, no one who truly understands, my husband tries so hard to take care of me and I know he is hurting, too. My 17 year old son is sad all the time. I've looked through all of the groups in here and find nothing for me. I really need someone to talk to.

Name:
BARBARA C. MILKS
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
20 Jul 1999

Comments

I LOST MY 33 YEAR OLD BROTHER TO SUICIDE IN JANUARY OF 1999. THE WORST PART OF HIS DEATH IS THE FACT THAT I DID NOT DO ENOUGH TO HELP HIM. I HAVE ATTEMPTED SUICIDE SEVERAL TIMES MYSELF, AND I NOW AM UNDER TREATMENT FOR CHRONIC CLINICAL DEPRESSION. IT IS NOW CLEAR TO ME THAT THIS DEPRESSION IS HEREITARY. IN ADDITION, I AM AN RN , AND I BLAME MYSELF FOR NOT RECOGNIZING MY BROTHER'S PAIN AND PROBLEMS. THIS IS OF COURSE ADDING TO MY DEPRESSION AND FEELINGS OF SUICIDE. IF THERE ARE OTHERS WHO FEEL THIS WAY, I NEED TO HEAR FROM YOU. THANK YOU BARB

Name:
Anderson
Email:
Bailey
Date:
21 Jul 1999

Comments

I haven't lost anybody really close to me, but I'd just like to make a shout out that when you lose someone special,who means alot to you there is a great deal of grief and most people can't comprehend with this grief but just remember that one day you'll be up in heaven joining them again.This is a great site for all those people out there with lost loved ones.

Name:
Caitlin
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
21 Jul 1999

Comments

Hi, i just wanted to say that i know how all of you feel who have lost a sibling, i lost a brother, well he was born two years before i did, and he died before i was born, but i still miss him to the bottom of my soul, If anyone needs to talk, e-mail me anytime i willing to answer questions and listen to grieving. -Caitlin-

Name:
Annie St. Jean
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
21 Jul 1999

Comments

This is a wonderful site. My 16 year old daughter Lonie died of Hodgkins Disease April 16, 1997. It has been 2 1/2 years and I miss her terribly. I am finding this year harder then the first. Is anyone else experiencing the same thing?

Name:
Barb
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
22 Jul 1999

Comments

It's a month today since my dad died. He was 86 and had many medical problems in the past four years - heart bypass, stroke and then cancer. It didn't seem fair that he should die of cancer after so many other problems but at least it was quick for him. There was only him and me left - my mum died in 1969 - much too early...I have no brothers or sisters. I have a great partner and many friends who care but I feel so empty and so alone. It's good I'm a touch typist cos I can't see now I'm typing cos I'm crying. It's a great site just to read about others' grief helps me to know I'm actually not alone. Love and light to all. Barb

Name:
Marylee Carlton
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
23 Jul 1999

Comments

Your website has help me to face the reality of loosing all my grandparents and parents and a father in law. Thank you for having this website. I'm sure it has helped a lot of people on their griving. I know it's helped me. Just to go back and look up the names so I can see them and read them has made me feel like they are all still here with me. Keep up the good work.



Name:
rhall
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
28 Jul 1999

Comments

The Night my Father Died

I remember when my mother died My father's heart was torn in two He looked up to Heaven and he said 'Without her Lord, what will I do?

We've loved each other since childhood She was also, my best friend' Love and friendship - last forever But life comes to an end

Dad grew weak as time passed by Without Mam - he was not the same At night he'd cry himself to sleep And in sleep - he'd speak her name.

I was with him in his final hour And through the tears I cried In a 'vision'I saw love re-born On the night my father died.

He softly whispered Mammy's name The lsst word I heard him say I saw a smile come upon his face Before he quietly passed away.

And then, I heard my Mother's voice I 'saw' her outside Heaven's gate. "I could not go in without you, I begged God - please let me wait"

'You've stood here all this time for me? You've waited outside Heaven's door?' "It would not be Heaven - without you, You've always been worth waiting for"

And as Dad took Mam by the hand Heaven's gates were opened wide Together again, together in love God welcomed them inside.

Richard


Name:
Myrna
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
29 Jul 1999

Comments

It's only been six weeks six my love has gone. I miss him so much until my heart aches. I'm glad I found this site. It helps to know I'm not the only one that feels shes loosing her mind. I wish my Torrance could come back to me, but I know he can't. I miss his touch, his voice, everyhing. The pain is great. Thanks for this site. It helps.


Name:
Jo Anne Steadman
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
31 Jul 1999

Comments

I hoped to find immediate help - but didn't. Maybe I'm too confised too figured


Name:
Jo Steadman
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
31 Jul 1999

Comments

I thought I'd find immediate help - didn't. BUT - I need it.


Name:
Barb
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
31 Jul 1999

Comments

Hi, Just looking for some one to talk to I have had 3 miscarriages in the last 16 months. Hoping there is some other people out there to talk with. Please feel free to e-mail me at { [email protected]} Thanks Barb


Name:
CINDY
Email:
CROW2403
Date:
31 Jul 1999

Comments

MY HUSBAND DIED JAN 22 1999 OF A HEART ATTACK. HE WAS ONLY 43. WE HAD ONLY BEEN MARRIED 6 YRS. I GOT UP TO GET MY KIDS UP FOR SCHOOL AND TO GET READY FOR WORK WHEN I FOUND HIM IN HIS CHAIR. I THOUGHT IF I KEPT MYSELF BUSY THINGS WOULD BE EASIER FOR ME TO HANDLE. BOY WAS I WRONG!!!!! I'M GLAD I FOUND THIS ON HERE BECAUSE I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO. THANKS


Name:
CINDY
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
31 Jul 1999

Comments

I FORGOT TO PUT MY WHOLE E-MAIL ADDRESS

THANKS SOMEONE PLEASE E-MAIL ME


Name:
Hugh
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
04 Aug 1999

Comments

I've never seen a site like this, It sure brings back many memories. I lost my daughter at the age of 14 months, my wife went to the hospital to have my son, I was so happy to have my first son. on the way to the hospital, we dropped off our daughter at the babysitter(only the 2nd or 3rd time) she was a 20 year friend who lived across the street from my folks. I felt at complete ease to do this, she raised her own 4 children and grandchildren, after dropping off my daughter I took my wife to the hospital to give birth. That evening I went to my best fiends wedding, I thought it would be better for her to spend the night if possible, I called, she said OK. The next morning I got their around 10:00 a.m., chated for about 1/2 hr, not seeing erin I figured she was taking a early nap. I said even if she is sleeping I needed to get her up so as to go see my wife in the hospitol. Then it all began! She carrried the what seemed lifeless body out to me yelling "something's wrong" her body was pure white, hair straight out and frozen in like points, eyes seeled shut with mucus. I didn't know what to do. the Marines told me start the breathing, stop the bleeding, protect the wound, treat for shock. I was frozen. I checked for a pulse, I could not tell. call for help is all I could do. after the paramedics came, I had to call my wife and tell her that her daughter was coming in. what a nightmare! after thier tests on her they told us she was 9/10th's brain dead, no hope! we had to sign papers to discontiue life support, no hope! they told us that it looked according to catscan that it looked like classic strangulation and possible molestation. things were bad enough, but to hear that was more than I could handle. I wanted complete and total revenge!! they told us it would be 1 to 3 months for an autopsy report, it took them 8 long, horrible nightmarish months. they told us she was NOT molested or touched in any way. Thank God!! but they had no idea what was the cause of death. I crawled inside a booze bottle, rejected everyone, blamed everyone, hated everyone, wanted to stop existing. then I'd look at my little boy! I had to go on, their was no choise, I had to go on, the will to live seemed to outdo the will to quit. in my opinion nothing is harder to live through than the loss of a child. this all happened in mar. 1989 the pain of the loss has dulled, never gone, I feel that when I lost her, I lost a limb, a piece of myself, i've felt handicapped in a way ever since. Life has gone on, I am actually happy today, she is with the Lord God almighty, with my grandparents, father-in-law,(who loved her dearly) and I can't wait to see her again. I lived in a pit, a dark pit for a LONG time, I could not see the top of it. believe me, anybody else in similar cases, you can go on, you can cope, don't quit. all I can say is call upon the lord with all your heart, he and he alone can heal you. and thank you all for this chance to talk, it has been a very long time since I've said anything to anyone, it feels good to get it out again. My mother wrote this poem, I'd like to share it. BROKEN DREAMS how do I tell you about this special grandchild, who entered our lives all dimples and smiles, we had wanted a child with blue eyes and curls, and hoped that the lord would send us a girl. We got what we asked for each detail exact, she looked like her mother that was a fact, her body was sturdy she grew like a weed, we thought she'd be tall and slim as a reed. How could we guess while watching her grow, that into our lives grief would soon flow, cause god had a secret that we did not know, this sweet little girl would never grow old. We had forgotten she was god's gift to give, and he never promised how long she would live, one night while she slept her breathing grew slow, and before dawns light god took back her soul. The parents were crushed when their baby died, they held her small lifeless body and painfully cried, her grandfather wept with his face to the wall, mourning this grandchild so still and so small. I miss you Erin teribly, we will embrace each other soon, Love Daddy.


Name:
Jackie Banett
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
05 Aug 1999

Comments

I have lost both my mother and father within a year and 12 days of each other. It has now been 4 months since I lost my mother and I am having a particularly sad day. I am 48 years old and I am fortunate to have a very loving support group in my husband and 3 children. Sometimes thought I do not know how to direct my sadness.


Name:
Cindy
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
05 Aug 1999

Comments

Randy, you were only 14 when you got in that car. I know the fear you felt skidding 270 feet and looking at the little tree coming straight at you. I wish I would have been there to get between you and that tree. I miss you so much, our birthday 27 July you would have been 15. You left me 09 June 1999. The worst day of my life. You were such a happy boy I miss your jokes and laughter. And coming into the house yelling MOM. Baby I will be there with you when its my turn, and I know you will be there taking my hand...I love you Randy....Mom


Name:
Cindy
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
05 Aug 1999

Comments

Randy, you were only 14 when you got in that car. I know the fear you felt skidding 270 feet and looking at the little tree coming straight at you. I wish I would have been there to get between you and that tree. I miss you so much, our birthday 27 July you would have been 15. You left me 09 June 1999. The worst day of my life. You were such a happy boy I miss your jokes and laughter. And coming into the house yelling MOM. Baby I will be there with you when its my turn, and I know you will be there taking my hand...I love you Randy....Mom


Name:
Lauren
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
05 Aug 1999

Comments

For years now, I can only recall the pure agony that goes through my mind when I hear the name 'Amy'. I remember, 2 years ago, you were brutally killed by your father. He murdered your mother first. She was beautiful and kind, and never did anything to your father or you. They found her body ina creek in Hopkington. Did you know that? If you did, were you frightened? I fear that you if you knew, you would have known your father was after you next... He took your brother and you to a lake in Masfield and gave you sleeping pills. Why, why did you except them my dear friend, why? He threw you both in a lake afterwards... I still wonder if you were asleep or awake when he did this.. My dear Amy, I pray you were asleep... I pray that you didn't know what was happening... I pray that you didn't know it was your generous, loving and humorous father who was killing you and your brother. I hope you didn't feel a thing. You should know now that your father was found stark raving mad in some woods trying to kill himself. I think he knew what he had done. He was still crazy. He is sentenced for a lifetime in jail, but even that is not enough to make up for your small blue lips and cold dead body found a week later. How could anyone be so cruel, Amy? Someone like your father? I suppose np one knows, except for you... I'll love you always! I didn't know you as well as I wish I had, but I knew enough to love and care for you, and I still know enough to miss and cherish good times with you... Love forever, Lauren


Name:
charlene
Email:
baby2920
Date:
05 Aug 1999

Comments

IT IS NOW ALMOST A YEAR SINCE YOU HAD TO LEAVE US MOM. BUT IT FEELS LIKE YESTERDAY. I CHOKE BACK THE TEARS, AND WANT TO WAKE UP TO FIND IT WAS A DREAM. BUT ITS NOT, AND I KNOW SOME DAY, I MIGHT BEABLE TO ACCEPT YOUR HAVING LEFT THIS WORLD. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MOM.


Name:
SADONE
Email:
LINKOOO
Date:
05 Aug 1999

Comments

WHERE IS ALL THE LOST SOULS. WHERE IS GOD, OUR LORD, I READ SO MUCH OF PAIN AND SADNESS, THE TIME IS ALMOST HERE, A YEAR SINCE MOM LEFT, IS SHE THERE LORD, IS SHE YOUR ANGLE, DO WE FEEL HER NEAR?


Name:
Carol
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
06 Aug 1999

Comments

On October 24, 1993 our 18 year old daughter took 4 hits of LSD and ran out onto the expressway. She was hit by 3 or more cars, not one stopped. In the following months I battled with my grief, depression, guilt, regrets, anger and court cases. One of the hit and run drivers was found. His car was not determined to be the one that caused her death. He was discovered because he bragged to many people that he had "hit a deer with jeans on". Because there was less than $300 dollars of damage done to his truck, hitting Jenny was no different that hitting debris on the road. He was not held accountable. We endured a landmark court case to bring the drug dealer up for manslaughter charges, he was acquited. The circumstances of her death left us with many questions. One of my primary questions was "why" she did this to herself. Through much research and hindsight I came to the conclusion that her death was a form of suicide. My family is split on this. We accept the way each of us has to cope with this tragedy, but it has been a long hard road. One of the things that has helped us the most is never asigning blame to anyone. We have seen so many people who in their grief will try to attach blame, as if that will make them feel better. It does not, it only leaves the griever feeling bitter, especially when the "guilty" receive no consequences. The most difficult thing we have had to overcome is guilt. When a child dies, the parent,(no matter how good a parent)feels they have failed to protect their child. When a child takes risks and dies in a shameful way, the guilt and shame can be overwhelming. The "would have, should have, could have's" hit hard. I was not a perfect mother, I worked hard to be a perfect mother but it is not an attainable goal. I am learning now to know I did the best I knew how and to forgive myself for being less than perfect. Life was a screaming agony in those early years. It has been a lot of work. But it is worth the work. My life now is dedicated to helping others in the grieving process at a hospice program. For those just starting the grief journey,take it one day at a time. You are the best judge of what you need, find those with whom you feel safe to be who you are. My prayers and thoughts are with you all.


Name:
Connie
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
07 Aug 1999

Comments

I hope you do not mind but I have added your site to my links page. I found it to be of excellent quality and information which I felt would be a help and blessing to all who come here. Healing from grief is easier when you can relate to others who are going through or have been through the experience. Thank you for the wonderful site.


Name:
Elly Moreno
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
08 Aug 1999

Comments

Thank you so much for having such a wonderful web site.. My mom passed away 6 months ago and I am having a very diffucult time dealing with her death. This site has gave me hope, and made me feel so "normal" in a very confusing stage of my life. I come here for comfort and support. I never knew that reading other people similar stories would shine light on my own personal feelings and this alone has helped me move forward. Thank you again for this great site..


Name:
kristin
Email:
Date:
11 Sep 1999

Comments


Name:
Robin
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
15 Sep 1999

Comments

Mom, I Miss You So Much,coping through this is very hard. Its been 4months and it seems so long ago, You will always be in my heart forever. You could imagine what im dealing with here, and its so hard... I dont know why you had to leave, I still cant believe it, its terrible... I Love and Miss You With All My Heart.... Forever....... if anyone would like to talk,please feel free to write,i need someone to talk to and listen.... maybe you do too.


Name:
Robin
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
15 Sep 1999

Comments

AWESOME SITE


Name:
judi
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
21 Sep 1999

Comments

I am greiving over a great many things some you may say are just a natural part of living, but the eternal emptiness that comes from these losses are allways with me. I lost my only sibling to drug addiction sixteen years ago I think I will allways resent that he waisted everything he had for nothing. I also lost both of my parents two years ago just four months apart I will allways miss them. Finally thru low self-esteem and possibly desperation I had an extra-marital affair it took me allmost twenty years of marrige to find the courage to even try to reach out to someone because sadly enough even though my huband is a great person and a wonderfull husband i never loved him i know i only married him because i felt i should, and i have allways felt guilty for that. I met Russell almost two years ago I loved him form the moment i first saw him and it took every ounce of courage i had in me to finally call him I guess i got what I deserved because he just used me my husband didn't leave me like most men would and i still don't love him and i feel guilty for that . I know that Russ never cared for me and I know i'm messed up but i also know i loved him and i always will. I carry on I go to work every day I try to act like I'm ok but I know deep down the pain won't ever go.And I know this is just cyber-space but I am greiving and I am trying very hard to be ok.


Name:
judi
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
21 Sep 1999

Comments

I am greiving over a great many things some you may say are just a natural part of living, but the eternal emptiness that comes from these losses are allways with me. I lost my only sibling to drug addiction sixteen years ago I think I will allways resent that he waisted everything he had for nothing. I also lost both of my parents two years ago just four months apart I will allways miss them. Finally thru low self-esteem and possibly desperation I had an extra-marital affair it took me allmost twenty years of marrige to find the courage to even try to reach out to someone because sadly enough even though my huband is a great person and a wonderfull husband i never loved him i know i only married him because i felt i should, and i have allways felt guilty for that. I met Russell almost two years ago I loved him form the moment i first saw him and it took every ounce of courage i had in me to finally call him I guess i got what I deserved because he just used me my husband didn't leave me like most men would and i still don't love him and i feel guilty for that . I know that Russ never cared for me and I know i'm messed up but i also know i loved him and i always will. I carry on I go to work every day I try to act like I'm ok but I know deep down the pain won't ever go.And I know this is just cyber-space but I am greiving and I am trying very hard to be ok.


Name:
Connie Campbell
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
23 Sep 1999

Comments

I lost my husband on June 13, 1999 to lung cancer. He was 37 yrs old. We were married 12 years and together since high school. I feel I am losing my mind. I'm still not sure it has hit me yet; the permanancy of it. He is the love of my life, a wonderful,good,true Christian. I know I will see him again if I can just hold on.


Name:
Mary Lundy
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
26 Sep 1999

Comments

I was here I don't know how long ago and wrote a comment about my sons murder by 5 gang members,I can't find it.I'm here today to thank everyone who e-mailed me,this is a wonderful place to come and find support and prayers.I really thought that I would be starting to get over the nightmare of my sons murder,it been 13 months and I've been to at least 30 hearings,and maybe we will be going to jury sometime in Nov. of this year.The D.A. tells me he is trying to get 25 yrs & 1 day for the 2 shooters,then they will get 25 more years for useing a gun,after they serve the 25 yrs they can go up for parole and if they get it they will still have to serve the next 25 years first.and 15 years for the driver.2 of the murders are free one turned witness for the state,and one was never charge at all.With one of them turning witness that means I won't have to get up on the stand and relive that nightmare over again but what they don't know or I guess even care about is I live it each and everyday.I'm so scared about the trial if anyone out there has anything to say that would help me face this Please e-mail me,I need help.Thank you once more. Mary


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Name:
Stephanie Berard
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
01 May 1999

Comments

Dear Griefnet, im a 15 yearold student in gray maine im a 9th grader in highschool i think that this is a great site for all those who really need as much support as they can its very scary to realize that things like this can really happen and it deffiantly has made me more aware... thanks sincerely stephanie ps my heart goes out to all the familys and friends of all that has lost.....

Name:
nicole
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
01 May 1999

Comments

I'm sorry for the parnet's of all who died.

Name:
Ashley Fobes
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
03 May 1999

Comments

Awsome

Name:
breanne
Email:
sabl4141
Date:
06 May 1999

Comments

i think ur web is great and i am glad therevare some christian peeps on the aol that dopnt curss,and i like that u put ur computer 2 good use

Name:
Melissa
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
08 May 1999

Comments

ii wrote a poem about the girl who died for believing in God. "So Be It" He came into the library I'm reading the Bible -forgive us our trespasses Lord give me strength -as we forgive those who trespass against us "Who believes in Jesus Christ?" -and lead us not into temptation Here's my split-second decision -but deliver us from evil To give up all that I am for God -for thine is the kingdom I get a sure sudden strength -and the power "I believe in Jesus Christ" -and the glory forever Lord send me home -amen if you read this please email me with your comments

Name:
Lisa
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
08 May 1999

Comments

It has been a long time since I have been at this sight. And again, it floors me. It is truly a remarkable place to visit. My mom died last June of Alzheimer's Disease and Monday would be her 74th birthday. Her birthday fell on Mother's day last year. It was so wonderful even though she had no clue what was going on. I miss her dearly. Thank you griefnet!

Name:
lisa wakeland
Email:
landrew89
Date:
09 May 1999

Comments

IT WILL BE ALMOST 4 MONTHS THAT HAS GONE BY SINCE ANDREW LEFT US. MY WHOLE FAMILY IS STILL AT A GREAT LOST AND CAN'T SEEM TO PULL THINGS TOGETHER. THE LOST OF A SON, GRANDSON, AND GREAT GRANDSON HAS LEFT US ALL WITH A BIG PEICE OF OUR HEARTS MISSING. EVERY DAY IS A CHALANGE. THE TEARS STILL COME AS FREQEUNT AS IF IT WAS YESTURDAY THAT THE NITEMARE BEGAN. I MISS YOU MY SWEET BABY...I LOOK FORWARD TO SOMEDAY SEEING YOU IN HEAVEN, 9 YEARS ON THIS EARTH WAS TO SHORT FOR ALL OF US. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU EVER SO MUCH. NOT A DAY GOES BY THAT I LOOK UP TO HEAVEN KNOWING YOUR BY GODS SIDE; BUT WISHING YOU WERE STILL ON EARTH WITH US! LOVE, MOM

Name:
Diane Williams
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
09 May 1999

Comments

My son died at 20 years old~he had cystic fibrosis~and had gone deaf 2 years prior to his death. He died at home with me, his girlfriend and best friend helping him. I hate cystic fibrosis a disease that robbed Jason of life one minute at a time. Jason intelligent,thoughtful,loving and happy. He left me full of hate, empty and wondering if there is a God. Thanks for the memorial section. Diane

Name:
SAD ONE
Email:
LINKOOO
Date:
09 May 1999

Comments

TODAY IS MOTHERS DAY, I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FIND MY WAY TO YOU MOM, WITH MY HEART AND THOUGHTS. YOU ARE GONE FROM THIS EARTH, AND I KEEP REACHING FOR THE PHONE TO CALL YOU. LOVE SADONE.

Name:
SAD ONE
Email:
LINKOOO
Date:
09 May 1999

Comments

I CAN SEE I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHOIS FINDING IT HARD TO LET GO OF PAIN, AND ANGER. BUT I REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THE LORD, CAN'T BE FOUND TO HOLD US WHEN NEEDED, ARE HIS ARMS TOO FULL OF THE WORLDS PAIN AND HURT, AND SOULS, THERE IS NO MORE ROOM!!!!

LORD, WHERE CAN YOU BE, I KNOW YOU ARE SOMEWHERE.


Name:
taz
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
10 May 1999

Comments

i feel for ya'll

Name:
Charlene
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
10 May 1999

Comments

All of us at Morehead High School in North Carolina are sorry you had to go through the tradgy and we sincerely hope you can overcome the grief and remember those students the way they were. We wish you the best of luck in your furture. And that you succeed in everything you do.

Name:
Teresa
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
12 May 1999

Comments

Thank you for such a beautiful sight to express my feelings.. I lost a Sister on April 4, 1992. She was 27 years old.. She was killed in a very bad car accident.. Then in 1997, January 10th I lost my Father to full blown cancer.. Life isn't easy without both of them, but I have found some comfort in knowing they are rejoicing with the Angels.. "GO REST HIGH ON THAT MOUNTAIN"... Lots of Love......... Your 3 beautiful children and your loving wife of 33 years...... Teresa, Betsy, James, and your wife, our mother Joyce....

Name:
Meme
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
13 May 1999

Comments

I lost my 27 year old son to "Sudden Cardiac Death". This is a non detectible and fatal birth defect. If anyone has any information on this subject, I would appreciate it.

meme


Name:
Kelly Berrigan
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
13 May 1999

Comments

Hello, I am a personal Coach with WISH, Women Improving Self Harmony. I lost my son, Conner Joseph, at birth. He was stillborn at 38 weeks, with a knotted cord. Since then, I have taken my pain, and made Conner into an angel of hope. I help others deal with their loss, and go forward. It is my way of keeping my precious son alive, in my heart! And, to give him purpose. I deal with many parenting issues, special education, early intervention, genetic disorders, and multiple births. But, I exclusively deal with grief, how to live with it, turn it around, and get through each day, that seems so hard to do at first. Please visit our website at www.wishcoaching.com, or email me at [email protected] While at the website, please sign up for our newsletter, with articles and information. ANd, PLEASE...Sign our message boards. They are monitored 24 hours a day, and we respond within that time frame. God Bless!

Name:
Krystal
Email:
Date:
13 May 1999

Comments

I am glad you are helping people cope with this AWFUL TRAGITY

Name:
Alicia Wells Owens
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
13 May 1999

Comments

Hello. Two years ago. I lost my mother to a disease that lasted for four years. I found the grief-net to be my greatest support system. I submitted a poem that I found in a magazine and have had several responses to that poem asking me for help through their grief process. I would just like to say thank you to grief-net and to Kendra for making this support system available to all of those that are in pain. Alicia Wells Owens

Name:
Aimee
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
15 May 1999

Comments

I am glad I found your site, however, I do not see anything regarding divorce, life shattering betrayal, and loss of trust and hope. Is there any site you know of that touches upon these subjects? Thank you very much =)

Name:
Pat Scarpello
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
15 May 1999

Comments

I have visited you web site, found it very informative, although I am looking for a support group for parents who have lost children to cancer. Is there such a support group? Thank you, Pat

Name:
Betty Noble
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
16 May 1999

Comments


Name:
Jim
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
16 May 1999

Comments

GOOD GRIEF!!!

You are cordially invited to a gathering of well wishers who have lost a loved one to death. The gathering also includes members of AOL Widowed, Widownet, MADD, The Compassionate Friends and Hospice groups from all over.

The Gathering is being based at Altamonte Springs, FL, 6 miles outside of Orlando July 9-11 (or longer for those who want. Saturday, July 11 you can enjoy an all day picnic affair at Wekiva Springs State Park with live entertainment and games, swimming, canoeing and other events.

Enjoy!


Name:
j medina
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
17 May 1999

Comments

I lost my 22month old son Austin two months ago. He was a victim of drowning. I would like to visit with other parents who have had a similar experience. How do you cope with the intense grief and guilt?

Name:
Kristin
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
17 May 1999

Comments

I had lost a friend a few months back, she was killed outside of her own home and I watched as it happened, I sometime wish it was me caus eshe was a true best friend and now I am all alone .

Name:
Brenda McFadden
Email:
[email protected]ol.com
Date:
17 May 1999

Comments

I lost my Dad two weeks before my 13th birthday and Mom lost the only man she ever loved, they had been married 21 years. She went on without hin and raised her three children but never did she forget her love. She taught us all well and instilled strong morals in us but most of all she taught us the love of our Lord and Savior and His Grace. She went on to be with her Savior and Daddy Feb. 9th, 1999. She had waited 43 years to be with Daddy again and although my heart is breaking I am happy for her.She is no longer confined to a wheele chair or bed or crying out in pain, but walking on Streets of Pure Gold. Yes, Mom I told you it was alright to go, go get some rest that I'd be alright but I'm not. My heart aches and hurts so bad. I always had you to turn to, what do I do now ? This site I go to every day and I do get a little peace from it. It is a great site and you are helping and touching people in more ways than I think you realize. Thank You

Name:
Stacye Waldrop
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
17 May 1999

Comments

My story begins at the age of two. My father was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. Over the next few yrs. I lost a close friend to M.S., lost close friends in car wrecks, my dearest aunt and uncle were killed by a drunk driver, then my father was killed in a nursing home by an aide there. One year later, both my granmothers passed away due to Alzheimer's and Cancer. The last few years have been horrifying at the least. No one seems to understand me, I can't seem to understand anyone either. I know I am not alone, but I can't help feeling that way. I am only 23 yrs. old, been married one year to a wonderful man, that gives me hope in life, but this has taken a toll on our new marriage too. I have made it, and I will continue to make it. For those who don't know the pain of loss God bless you, but remember a friend in pain is a friend in need. Don't wait until it is too late, reach out, if only to listen. God bless all who have fought the good fight. Good luck to all of those who float in my boat too! I'll pray for you if you'll pray for me. Sincerely, Stacye

Name:
Stacye Waldrop
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
17 May 1999

Comments

It is not the bad memories that make me cry, it's the good ones. It is not God that I am angry at, it is the disease. It is not 'why' that I ask anymore, it is God's will. Either I can accept this and move one, or live in denial and anger forever. It is my choice.

When in need, just repeat these words. You will believe them. You will make the right choice. You will make it.

Stacye


Name:
Karen Carlson
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
17 May 1999

Comments

My nephew has a thought disorder. It is so very painful for us all. Please send workds and anytihng that would hlep the family understand. I am reading Gorege Anderson's new ook. Karen Carlson

Name:
Judy
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
18 May 1999

Comments

Thank you. I was browsing getting ready to facilitate my Hospice bereavement group for this evening and came across your site. I am grateful that others at now just a finger click away. Great job Cendra.....I'm in private practice in Burlington, VT....grew up in Plymouth, MI. Be well.

Name:
Raquel Weedman
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
19 May 1999

Comments

I think its a good idea. It also helps me in remembering my little girl.

Name:
SAD ONE
Email:
LINKOOO
Date:
19 May 1999

Comments

IM MISSING YOU MOM, SO VERY MUCH, THERE ARE ALOT OF PEOPLE HERE IN SO MUCH PAIN.

Name:
Jobeth Hillmer
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
20 May 1999

Comments

I have been searching for months, since the death of my mother for someplace that talked about the death of one's parents. Being an adult does not mean you are immune to loss, and I'am having trouble now after 7 months that I did not have at first. waves of grief that wash over me out of the blue. Grief so deep it knocks the breath out of me for a few moments. I have been worried that maybe it was not "normal" to feel like this. Thank you for a place where someone can go and see they are not the only ones who still feel the loss of a loved one long after the people around them feel they should be "over" it.

Name:
Sharon
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
21 May 1999

Comments

I lost my Mom after a two year battle with Lung cancer. During the past month I have been her caregiver with the help of a Hospice VNA. I am feeling so guilty that I had to give her pain medicine which put her in a coma. She died a horrible death that took 12 hrs of suffering. I lay in bed with her and held her the whole time and now I can't get the image out of my mind, my dreams and my heart. I wake up crying and cry in my sleep. Anyone out there going thru this process, please contact me.

Name:
Kristy
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
21 May 1999

Comments

I lost my only brother on January 8, 1999 to a brain aneurysm. He was nineteen years old, and expecting a baby. I think the only thing keeping his death from really hitting me is the anticipation of the birth of my niece, who will be named Brittany Rain, the name he chose. She is due around July 13, 1999. I hope this site will help me to contact people my age (21), or people who have been through a similar situation.

Name:
Rev. Patrick E. Wadsworth, LPC
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
21 May 1999

Comments

I arrived here looking for grief education resources which I can use with groups. So far, I don't see such resources here.

Name:
Ann
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
22 May 1999

Comments

I miss my mother terribly. She died 3000 miles away from me while I was away in med school only 2 Christmases ago. I didn't get to say good-bye. I flew home so quickly when I got that fateful call. I can't forget seeing her before she was cremated, and waves of breathtaking grief just pound over my heart. Her face was almost unreal, I remember her lying before me in the dress which I had bought for her as a gift earlier, not knowing that she would die before I could give it to her. I used to dream that once I had finally become a doctor, I would be able to give her all those fine things that we could not afford when I was little when my father was scraping out a living for us. I should have told her I loved her more rather than be annoyed with her for worrying about me. I kept telling myself that one day, I would shower her with the fine commodities which never materialized in our humble little house. "Then," I said to myself, "she'll know that I love her, in spite of our differences." After she died, I cried every day for a year, gut-wrenching, awful tears. This last Mother's day, I wanted to stay in bed all day and cry into my pillow. I am 27, but I feel helpless and lost without you, Mom. I didn't know I would miss you this much. When I finally graduate, I wanted you to see me. You won't be there for my wedding. And now, although it's been two years, I feel like crumpling from pain whenever I see a daughter and mother together. Will anything ever heal this sad, damaged heart of mine?


Name:
Kelly
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
23 May 1999

Comments

this site, is very helpful, it has lots of information on how to deal with death, and you can make many friends who have been through the same thing as you.

Name:
angela
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
24 May 1999

Comments

I've been looking, and there are sites for parents of children who have been murdered. But are there any sites or chat rooms for those who've had their parents murdered? Looking for help. Angela

Name:
mari Lyn
Email:
TX1-ML
Date:
25 May 1999

Comments

Hi, i,ve been reading what you all have wrote and i feel upset that so many have passed away because of the horrible acts of two people in Littleton. i feel for all the parents, sisters, brothers, and friends I know you have lost someone dear to heart and remember God is always there for youand will help you just don't lose your sight on him. i pray that this will not happen in mine or an other schools , everywhere in san antonio we have been getting bomb treats and i hope it stops

Name:
Coment'Alezvous
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
29 May 1999

Comments

My beautiful and thoughtful soon-to-be doctor daughter recommended your home page to me several days ago. We shared a common grief--the loss of my beloved wife, my daughter's dear mother. I put off looking into the griefnet, then reluctantly keyed in the home page address. I was somewhat surprised to see her comments on her mother's passing. We were both struggling with our loss, and I frequently leaned on her for comfort, but I soon realized I was imposing my grief on top of hers and inhibiting her ability to stay on top of her studies. I immediately resolved to put my love above my grief, to help her through hers. It hasn't been easy at all, but it seemed to help dull the pain. For the most part our family life was chaotic at best, but my prayers to God and Jesus the Christ always gave me renewed strength and hope for a new and brighter tomorrow. Our road had more than its share of valleys than peaks, and somedays were desperately unh

Name:
Audra Woodward
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
30 May 1999

Comments

I think it's great that you have a website to help people with death. I lost my best friend about two months ago to a car accident. He was only 17. I noticed that there wasn't a group that I felt was fitting to my situation. I just thought I would notify you of that.

Audra Woodward


Name:
candace mozak
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
31 May 1999

Comments

My mother just died in feb 25,1999. She had Altzhemiers disease for over 10 years. it started very sutly and she got worse and worse. las year she fell and fractured her hip and it was downhill from then on. My sister and I both took turns for the last year taking care of her. It was very hard as she was total care and lifting. Anyway I am missing her so much I cant believe shes gone. We brought her home from the hospital and she died at hhome with Hospice. It took a week before she decided to go she wanted to be sure I believe that all of our family would be alright. Anyway I have a million feelings going on or IM numb. I see a grief therapist a Psycologist and I have been diagnosed with borderline personality depressive disorder panic attacks anxiety disorder post traumatic stress sydrome and im on meds for all this but since my mom died i have gotten worse and its really hard to explain but my mom was my bestfriend and loved me uncondionally but it was a very sick relationship I was totally dependent on her my whole life. I guess im rambling but IM glad I found this site. Thanks for letting me vent. candace

Name:
mustang
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
03 Jun 1999

Comments

This is the first time, I have been here, and would just like to visit. I actually stumbled across this and trying to get my uncle, who died of cancer, off my mind. So,I could go to sleep. I am really glad I found this place.thanks. Now I have found some place, to write and dry my eyes. We were really close, andit is really hard. thanks again.

Name:
Cindy
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
04 Jun 1999

Comments

Very supportive. Thanks.

Name:
Paula Britt
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
04 Jun 1999

Comments

I have been looking for a place like this for a while now, & I believe I have finally found it. I lost my beautiful daughter Heather Anne almost 3 years ago (March 23, 1979 - June 14, 1996)in a traffic accident at the young age of 17 & it has been very hard on me to cope from day to day, week to week, but I'm making it by the Grace of the good Lord & many prayers. I'm hoping & praying that I can find true friends who know what I'm going though to e-mail me with any help possible. Thank you for being here for all of us in our time of need & God Bless all of you that have suffered great losses. I love you my Beautiful baby girl, Love, MOM

Name:
dorsi
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
04 Jun 1999

Comments

It has been 12 months since my husband died and I still miss him terribly. We had been married over 47 years. He was my best friend and we were constantly together. I have things to keep me busy during the day but the evenings are so long and empty.It's to bad that there is no magic formula to use but I realize it all takes time and time seems to be what I have.

Name:
Barbara
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
05 Jun 1999

Comments

I am trying to no avail to access teh "Spouses of Suicides" website. I was a frequent contributor back in Feb (when my husband died while we lived in Germany), but now that I am returned to the US (to begin my new life alone, I am unable to check in with that same site - my household things are still in storage so I don't have all my old notes and my own computere - still using my 14 year old neice's address, thus the craziness... CAn anyone help me? I'd like to talk with my old friends at this site. Thank you.

Name:
Lauren
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
09 Jun 1999

Comments

Hi, My name is Lauren. I'm 38 years old and I lost my mom a year and a half ago. I joined the griefnet adult-parents back in December 1998 and I'm still in it. I found it a very safe place to go to, where I don't have to hide my feelings and emotions. I've become close to many of the group members, and all I have to say if you have lost a parent, child, or any one you loved this is the place to go. Thank you Griefnet and Ceandra. You've been a life saver. Love and Peace. Lauren.

Name:
Stacey
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
10 Jun 1999

Comments

This program is helping a little, although no one can change the fact that my puppy is gone. It seems we all share the same problems, and face the same difficulties. I felt I had to do something for Missy, and I felt a lot better now that I added a memorial. "Missy I will never forget you, I will always love and miss you" forever STACEY

Name:
Stacey
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
10 Jun 1999

Comments

This program is helping a little, although no one can change the fact that my puppy is gone. It seems we all share the same problems, and face the same difficulties. I felt I had to do something for Missy, and I felt a lot better now that I added a memorial. "Missy I will never forget you, I will always love and miss you" forever STACEY

Name:
Donna F. Day
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
11 Jun 1999

Comments

There are many types of grief a human being goes through during his lifetime. Death is definately one of those great ones. But, there are many many more and each grief is different for each person. Loosing a child or parent to death is very hard but so is loosing a child or parent to Prison, or to Alcohol and Drugs. We all have our griefs and should always help each other stand up to them.

Name:
SADONE
Email:
LINKOOO
Date:
12 Jun 1999

Comments

TOMARROW IS YOUR BIRTHDAY MOM, LAST NIGHT I DREAMED OF YOU. THE TEARS AND THE MEMORIES OF YOU IN THE HOSPITAL WON'T GO AWAY. I MISS YOU SO MUCH. I HOPE WHERE EVER YOU ARE, YOU ARE AT PEACE AND THINK OF US.

LOVE SADONE


Name:
Brenda
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
13 Jun 1999

Comments

My husband died on March 7th of a glioblastoma (deadly brain tumor). I have never know that a human could be in the excruciating pain I am in. I am empty, scared and lonely. My beloved was my everything. My very best friend. This is the worst crisis of my life and I want to talk to him about it. He always was there for me, and now when I need him most, he's gone. I am still in shock and denial. When does the acceptance set in? How can I get my faith back. God, I feel, is somehow punishing me. Please, help me to believe again.

Name:
3
Email:
Date:
13 Jun 1999

Comments


Name:
julia
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
13 Jun 1999

Comments

I have been searching for info on chats and disabilities...i have just learned that i have a severe form of FMS and probably wont be able to return to a job so i am looking for ways to help others...it is odd how by helping others it takes my mind off of my pain and problems. I have also lost a son to SIDS back in 1986, he was 8 months old and weighed 12 pounds..he was a premie who went through so much for a baby. I think that sites as this one help a lot and I so hope that by vounteering that I may help others with their problems...even if it just listening or a soul to lean upon...my heart goes to those of us who have lost and those that yet have to suffer...may Gods Angels watch over us all.

Name:
Arthur Whaling
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
16 Jun 1999

Comments

I teach a grief recovery workshop every six months at our Church. I will be glad to add your website to the list of resources I make available to those who attend. Notes from those in the grief process and the resources you make avaiable will be a help in the healing process. Thanks for being here for all those who need you in their season of pain.

Name:
Bertha
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
17 Jun 1999

Comments

Your web site is very good and informational...unfortunately the list I had subscribed to does not fit my needs. Should I know of anyone having lost a child or spouse I will refer them to this site. Bertha

Name:
Lorraine
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
19 Jun 1999

Comments

For 35 years I fought for your love and attention Mother. Little did I know that I would take my own son to tell me how much you despise me and the awful things that you would tell people about me that weren't true. I forgave you along time ago for the things that you did to me and my brother but when it comes to my child, that is a whole different issue. You have permanantly ended our relationship. There is no truning back now. Between the prozac, three therapists, my husband and my son, you will never be able to hurt me again. Although I know this is for the best, and you never really treated me like a daughter with love and I know that you never really wanted to have me and hated raising me, I am mourning at the loss of a Mother. Although you never really acted much like a Mother, you were the only one I had and now I must continue my life with out you. I don't know how I am going to do that. I guess I will just focus on the four children of my own and how deeply I love them and how much I love my husband and how wonderful he is to me. I am so lucky to have so many great people around me that love me as much as I love them. You sit in your big estate with your big bills, no friends and no one who truly loves you and you don't love anyone accept yourself. There is a saying "The way you treat your children when they are little, is the way that they will treat you when you are old." I could never in my life time do to anyone what you and Dad did to me. 19 years of every type of abuse known. You are creul and evil people. I will just leave you alone and let you float threw you misery alone. You will not have the joy of seeing your grandchildren. You will not spend family dinners and holidays with us and you will never talk to me again. As you know, I will not answer your calls and we are planning to move away. You will not know where we are. For mine and my families sake, you will never be invited or allowed into our lives again. You are now dead to all of us. Your name is not allowed to be mentioned in out home, and when you leave your messages on the answering machine, my husband will immediately erase them. You allowed me to be beaten, molested, mentally and physically abused and you also are guilty of the many years of beating me and treating me as trash. As a servant. Good bye Mother. I wish I was the one who was adopted out instead of my sister so then I would not be having to grieve over someone who never cared about me and still doesn't. It will be a healthy change for me to be able to say, "My Mother is dead" when people ask me about you. You are a terrible Mother, Person, Wife and Woman. What goes around comes around. You have not even begun your journey yet. I hope you rot in hell.

Name:
Mary S.
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
20 Jun 1999

Comments

Thank you very much for this website being here. I was referred by a e-friend at another site and she was absolutely right. I'll be back for more support soon. Father's Day is a hard time for our family as both Mom and Dad died on same weekend, however 13 years apart. Mom first, then Dad last year. Thank you again.

Name:
Leeola Duncan
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
21 Jun 1999

Comments

Mum, it's been 9 months since you left, l miss you so very much it hurts l'm really trying to get through this and somehow hold my head high and remember how proud l am in being your daughter Leeola

Name:
Leeola Duncan
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
21 Jun 1999

Comments

Mum, it's been 9 months since you left, l miss you so very much it hurts l'm really trying to get through this and somehow hold my head high and remember how proud l am in being your daughter Leeola

Name:
Courtney Barris
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
21 Jun 1999

Comments

I am 20 years old and just lost my dad to small cell lung cancer in January 1999.

Name:
Lisa Dempster
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
21 Jun 1999

Comments

On May 11th, 1998 life ended as we knew it when our beautiful son Nicholas lost his life in a drowning accident. He had just turned four on the 26th of April. It has been an indescribable fourteen months of pain and anguish. Some people say it gets easier with time. Is there anyone "out there" that would know if this is true. I still long every single minute of every day to have Nicholas back and and knowing that I can't makes me so miserable. I am trying to live for me two year old daughter. Anyone who have lost a young child particularly through drowning, I would love to hear from you. I am a christian and it the hope of seeing Nicholas again that have gotten me through to this point thus far.

Name:
Linda Sabade
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
25 Jun 1999

Comments

MY SON JEFF DIED ON JAN 24TH,OF THIS YEAR IN A ONE CAR ACCIDENT .I STILL FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE. I CAN'T IMAJINE LIFE WITHOUT HIM AND NOT SURE I WANT TO . PEOPLE SAY IT GETS EASIER WITH TIME,BUT HAVEN'T SEEN THAT HAPPEN YET.IF ANYONE WOULD CARE TO E-MAIL ME AND TELL ME HOW TOCOPE WITH THIS I WOULD APPRECIATE IT

Name:
Lydia Knese
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
26 Jun 1999

Comments

It took me 6 years to get over my teenage sons death, he had luekemia and only lived 7 months after he was diagnosed. I attended a hospice support group for 3 years and finally made it thru the depression. This 4th of July would have been his 26th birthday.

Name:
Margie
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
29 Jun 1999

Comments

I think this site is wonderful. There are so many grieving people and this is a wonderful resource for them and for me. Thank you for making this available. Margie

Name:
Ray Lyons
Email:
DragOn6002
Date:
30 Jun 1999

Comments

All I want to know is why? Why did my friends Chris, Candice, and Katy die. I was just getting to know them. And why did they die will someone please tell me why. R.I.P. Chris, Candice, and Katy. See yous at Tha Crossroads

Name:
Tish Nye
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
30 Jun 1999

Comments

Thank you for this site. I am trying to get information for my daughter, her father and step-mother as they have lost a 19 year old boy to suicide this past week. My daughter and John were born 3 days apart and we were close family friends. John's mother and my ex-husband are now married (since the kids were 4 years old).

Joan does not have internet connectivity; however, I have printed several things for her.

Thanks again.


Name:
Linda Lane
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
02 Jul 1999

Comments

Our only son, Barry was killed in an accident @ work. We miss himso much. Only people who have lost a child can know what people like us are going thru. Barry was only twenty five when he died. When he was buried a part of mom and dad were buried also. We love you son!!! Mom and Dad

Name:
Nicole Barton
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
03 Jul 1999

Comments

I have found your page very informative, however I was searching for a 800# to give a friend who does not live in my area who is currently experienceing some dificulty.

Name:
Dana
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
03 Jul 1999

Comments

My daughter (14) lost her best friend last year, at school on the playground. His was a very popular young man and accomplished athelete. To this day the parents do not know what caused his death. Katie's relationship was that of friend and they shared a class together and a class trip to Washington, D.C. before he died. I didn't know the family because I didn't know how close they were until he died. Since then we have become close to the family. The mom is the same age as me and we have younger children the same age. Katie has spent time with them on a lot of the FIRSTS with them and I don't mind this, it's other people who seem to be uncomfortable. I prayed to GOD after his death and after witnessing how other people thought how they should be doing, that if something happened to Katie I wouldn't want all who were friends to not ever come around. In this case, there are lots of people who as they say "I wouldn't know what to say". I guess my question is : Is this normal for us to have this relationship and what should my answer be to other people?? Could somebody please e-mail be back. Thanks, Dana

Name:
Annette
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
03 Jul 1999

Comments

I am a 33 year old widow. I lost my husband on February 18, 1999. It still seems like yesterday. He was killed in a car accident about 5 miles before reaching our home after being out on an all day trip. He was my whole life for the past 10 years. I feel sometimes that it was my fault that he died. I always told him to call me if he was running late so I wouldn't worry. I believe he was trying to call me when he ran off the road and overturned. I also lost two friends and an accident I was in 11 years ago. It seems as though when things start going too good, someone lets you know not to let your guard up. I always thought this was something that happened to other people, so how has it happened to me twice?

Name:
Mary
Email:
[email protected],net
Date:
06 Jul 1999

Comments

This, is such a wonderful place. You,are what I have been looking for,For along time. Thanks for being here in such a time of need. Thank You.

Name:
Mary
Email:
[email protected],net
Date:
06 Jul 1999

Comments

This, is such a wonderful place. You,are what I have been looking for,For along time. Thanks for being here in such a time of need. Thank You.

Name:
Alexandra Kennedy
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
06 Jul 1999

Comments

In your bookstore, you've listed my book Losing a Parent as being available in 2-3 days through Amazon-- it is available in 24 hours. Could you change this? Thanks!

Name:
Joan
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
06 Jul 1999

Comments


Name:
Joan
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
06 Jul 1999

Comments


Name:
Amanda
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
07 Jul 1999

Comments

I am a 16-year-old girl. I not only have had to deal with the death of my Grandmother and great-uncle, but also with the deaths of 2 of my friends. Coping with a death is never an easy thing to do, but it is especially hard when it is someone your own age who has passed away. When I was 12, a friend of mine hung himself. Then last May, one of my friends died after taking a punch to the chest at a karate tournament. It wasn't till recently that I found Griefnet and Kidsaid, but I am so lucky I did. It is great to be able to talk to others my age of have also experience losses. I also appreciate your page in which I could make a memorial to my friends. This is such a great site for anying who is grieving and I am planning on putting a link to it on my website. Thanks again for such a wonderful site.

Amanda


Name:
Amanda
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
07 Jul 1999

Comments

I am a 16-year-old girl. I not only have had to deal with the death of my Grandmother and great-uncle, but also with the deaths of 2 of my friends. Coping with a death is never an easy thing to do, but it is especially hard when it is someone your own age who has passed away. When I was 12, a friend of mine hung himself. Then last May, one of my friends died after taking a punch to the chest at a karate tournament. It wasn't till recently that I found Griefnet and Kidsaid, but I am so lucky I did. It is great to be able to talk to others my age who have also experience losses. I also appreciate your page in which I could make a memorial to my friends. This is such a great site for anyone who is grieving and I am planning on putting a link to it on my website. Thanks again for such a wonderful site.

Amanda


Name:
Jim Thomasson
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
09 Jul 1999

Comments

Hydee Kell Medford Oregon, I really need to contact you concerning events of the last month or so Hope everything is OK with you? Please keep in touch I really worry about you... Love to you and your family and You are in my prayers daily JIMBO

Name:
Deborah Gilbert
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
09 Jul 1999

Comments

I'm glad I found your website.

Name:
Deborah Gilbert
Email:
[email protected]et
Date:
09 Jul 1999

Comments

In August 1995 my 18-year-old son died in an auto accident. April 9, 1999, my husband died of a sudden and unexpected heart attack after a perfectly normal day. I've had a tough time with my grief and I'm happy to have found your website.

Deborah


Name:
Deborah Gilbert
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
09 Jul 1999

Comments

In August 1995 my 18-year-old son died in an auto accident. April 9, 1999, my husband died of a sudden and unexpected heart attack after a perfectly normal day. I've had a tough time with my grief and I'm happy to have found your website.

Deborah


Name:
becky cortesi
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
09 Jul 1999

Comments

I have an interest in child and adolescent grief and over the past few years I have researched child grief. I am a school social worker and during the summer I act as an inclusion summer camp counselor. The reason that I am writing you is to ask if you know of any summer grief camps in Illinois. I want to begin collecting information on as many grief camps as I can so that I can implement some of their ideas with my own. Could you please shed some light on any information that you may know of?

I am really interested in beginning support groups and camps for bereaved children. I don't think enough is being done for these kids and I want to begin to educate the rest of society on death and dying issues.

Thank You,

Becky Cortesi


Name:
Kathy Noll & Dr. Jay Carter
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
09 Jul 1999

Comments

Hello. Dr. Jay Carter & myself would like to help young people deal with Bullies & Self-esteem. Bullying is a serious topic, and we need to get the word out that kids and teens don't have to take it.  The American Justice Department says that 1 out of every 4 kids will be bullied this month. IT'S TIME TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Best Wishes, Kathy Noll with Dr. Jay Carter [email protected] Authors, "Taking the Bully by the Horns"

Name:
Evelyn
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
10 Jul 1999

Comments

Your article on Howie's sister dying is incorrect. It is his sister Caroline who died of lupus, not his sister Pollyanna. It is important that you recheck your information.

Name:
amanda
Email:
Date:
10 Jul 1999

Comments

my mother died on the first of june this year. it was very sudden and my father, brother and i are still stunned. she was 67 but not old at all. i want people to know that we had a humanist funeral which we called a celebration of her life. she wasn't a christian and none of the rest of us are. we did it the way that we felt was right. we had lesbian opera singers. we had stevie wonder's music - not in person unfortunately ! (the track was 'AS' from songs in the key of life). just wanted to say, no disrespect to religious people, but me and my dad were with her when she died and we didn't miss god.

Name:
Mandy
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
12 Jul 1999

Comments

I believe this is an extremely worthwhile site. I lost my beautiful dad to cancer on may 23rd 1999. I do not want to live my life without him yet but as dad said to me while he was so ill, "death is a part of life and unfortunitley we all have to accept it." People say I cope very well, the fact of the matter is I have no choice. I do send my best wishes to all of the millions of people out there who have lost a loved one.

Name:
Carolyn
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
13 Jul 1999

Comments

Your site is well designed, thoughtful, and tastefully appropriate. It has given me and my late husband's family comfort to find a place to honor the man we loved so much. He owned a computer design/consulting business, had several web pages of his own, in addition to those he created for others. Therefore, it is most fitting that he be honored here.

Name:
Carolyn
Email:
Date:
13 Jul 1999

Comments

My husband of only 8 years died suddenly of a massive heart attack on 1-21-99, at age 48. While he has been honored in many ways,finding your website gave both me and his family a place to offer a most fitting tribute - he owned a computer design/consulting business, had several of his own websites, and created many for others. Thank you for such a compassionate, thoughful site. May God bless you and all of us who struggle to find our way!

PLEASE NOTE: I have just finished grief support classes and had hoped your support group page would be for me. However, I found reading through 60-100 posts a day to be overwhelming and took far more time than I have right now. While I selected "recent" widows, the posts were NOT that at all - they ranged from loss of children, parents, siblings, & grandparents. While every single one has my deepest sympathy, it is only VERY recent widows that I needed to communicate with at this time.


Name:
carolyn
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
13 Jul 1999

Comments

Your caring, compassionate website has given both me and my husband's family yet another opportunity to honor the man we so loved. My husband of only 8 years died suddenly 1-21-99 at age 48, of a massive heart attack. To honor him in this way is most fitting, as he owned a computer design/consulting business, had several web pages of his own, and many he had created for others!!

ONE OTHER NOTE: I have just finished a grief support group and had hoped to communicate with other "recent" widows from your support groups page. However, in spite of indicating such, I found 60-100 posts a day to be quite overwhelming and far too time consuming, plus they varied from loss of child, sibling, parents, grandparents. While each and every one has my heartfelt sympathy, my need at this point was to communicate with ONLY a few, VERY RECENT widows, so I had to un-subscribe.


Name:
Peggy Sapphire
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
14 Jul 1999

Comments

I'm searching for help/ressources concerning parent's loss through the long term estrangement of an adult (living)child. Anything will be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Name:
patty lukasik
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
16 Jul 1999

Comments

i have recently lost both parents within 7 and 1/2 months of each other and does it ever get easier????

Name:
JNANZER
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
18 Jul 1999

Comments

THIS IS A GOOD SITE I HOPE MY NEPHEW NOAH READS IT. IT COULD BE VERY HELPFUL TO HIM. HE LOST HIS BROTHER ADAM 6/3/99.

Name:
Tracy Sanford
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
19 Jul 1999

Comments

When you request donations you need to keep in mind that a lot of parents are not in the possition to make donations to anyone.

Name:
Kathleen
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
19 Jul 1999

Comments

I am going through a really tough loss and it is just about impossible to find a support group anywhere. My beautiful 23 year old daughter has left us. We were a happy family who did everything together and a controlling boyfriend came along and for a whole year now she has been gone. My heart breaks everyday. There is no closure, no one who truly understands, my husband tries so hard to take care of me and I know he is hurting, too. My 17 year old son is sad all the time. I've looked through all of the groups in here and find nothing for me. I really need someone to talk to.

Name:
BARBARA C. MILKS
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
20 Jul 1999

Comments

I LOST MY 33 YEAR OLD BROTHER TO SUICIDE IN JANUARY OF 1999. THE WORST PART OF HIS DEATH IS THE FACT THAT I DID NOT DO ENOUGH TO HELP HIM. I HAVE ATTEMPTED SUICIDE SEVERAL TIMES MYSELF, AND I NOW AM UNDER TREATMENT FOR CHRONIC CLINICAL DEPRESSION. IT IS NOW CLEAR TO ME THAT THIS DEPRESSION IS HEREITARY. IN ADDITION, I AM AN RN , AND I BLAME MYSELF FOR NOT RECOGNIZING MY BROTHER'S PAIN AND PROBLEMS. THIS IS OF COURSE ADDING TO MY DEPRESSION AND FEELINGS OF SUICIDE. IF THERE ARE OTHERS WHO FEEL THIS WAY, I NEED TO HEAR FROM YOU. THANK YOU BARB

Name:
Anderson
Email:
Bailey
Date:
21 Jul 1999

Comments

I haven't lost anybody really close to me, but I'd just like to make a shout out that when you lose someone special,who means alot to you there is a great deal of grief and most people can't comprehend with this grief but just remember that one day you'll be up in heaven joining them again.This is a great site for all those people out there with lost loved ones.

Name:
Caitlin
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
21 Jul 1999

Comments

Hi, i just wanted to say that i know how all of you feel who have lost a sibling, i lost a brother, well he was born two years before i did, and he died before i was born, but i still miss him to the bottom of my soul, If anyone needs to talk, e-mail me anytime i willing to answer questions and listen to grieving. -Caitlin-

Name:
Annie St. Jean
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
21 Jul 1999

Comments

This is a wonderful site. My 16 year old daughter Lonie died of Hodgkins Disease April 16, 1997. It has been 2 1/2 years and I miss her terribly. I am finding this year harder then the first. Is anyone else experiencing the same thing?

Name:
Barb
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
22 Jul 1999

Comments

It's a month today since my dad died. He was 86 and had many medical problems in the past four years - heart bypass, stroke and then cancer. It didn't seem fair that he should die of cancer after so many other problems but at least it was quick for him. There was only him and me left - my mum died in 1969 - much too early...I have no brothers or sisters. I have a great partner and many friends who care but I feel so empty and so alone. It's good I'm a touch typist cos I can't see now I'm typing cos I'm crying. It's a great site just to read about others' grief helps me to know I'm actually not alone. Love and light to all. Barb

Name:
Marylee Carlton
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
23 Jul 1999

Comments

Your website has help me to face the reality of loosing all my grandparents and parents and a father in law. Thank you for having this website. I'm sure it has helped a lot of people on their griving. I know it's helped me. Just to go back and look up the names so I can see them and read them has made me feel like they are all still here with me. Keep up the good work.



Name:
rhall
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
28 Jul 1999

Comments

The Night my Father Died

I remember when my mother died My father's heart was torn in two He looked up to Heaven and he said 'Without her Lord, what will I do?

We've loved each other since childhood She was also, my best friend' Love and friendship - last forever But life comes to an end

Dad grew weak as time passed by Without Mam - he was not the same At night he'd cry himself to sleep And in sleep - he'd speak her name.

I was with him in his final hour And through the tears I cried In a 'vision'I saw love re-born On the night my father died.

He softly whispered Mammy's name The lsst word I heard him say I saw a smile come upon his face Before he quietly passed away.

And then, I heard my Mother's voice I 'saw' her outside Heaven's gate. "I could not go in without you, I begged God - please let me wait"

'You've stood here all this time for me? You've waited outside Heaven's door?' "It would not be Heaven - without you, You've always been worth waiting for"

And as Dad took Mam by the hand Heaven's gates were opened wide Together again, together in love God welcomed them inside.

Richard


Name:
Myrna
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
29 Jul 1999

Comments

It's only been six weeks six my love has gone. I miss him so much until my heart aches. I'm glad I found this site. It helps to know I'm not the only one that feels shes loosing her mind. I wish my Torrance could come back to me, but I know he can't. I miss his touch, his voice, everyhing. The pain is great. Thanks for this site. It helps.


Name:
Jo Anne Steadman
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
31 Jul 1999

Comments

I hoped to find immediate help - but didn't. Maybe I'm too confised too figured


Name:
Jo Steadman
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
31 Jul 1999

Comments

I thought I'd find immediate help - didn't. BUT - I need it.


Name:
Barb
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
31 Jul 1999

Comments

Hi, Just looking for some one to talk to I have had 3 miscarriages in the last 16 months. Hoping there is some other people out there to talk with. Please feel free to e-mail me at { [email protected]} Thanks Barb


Name:
CINDY
Email:
CROW2403
Date:
31 Jul 1999

Comments

MY HUSBAND DIED JAN 22 1999 OF A HEART ATTACK. HE WAS ONLY 43. WE HAD ONLY BEEN MARRIED 6 YRS. I GOT UP TO GET MY KIDS UP FOR SCHOOL AND TO GET READY FOR WORK WHEN I FOUND HIM IN HIS CHAIR. I THOUGHT IF I KEPT MYSELF BUSY THINGS WOULD BE EASIER FOR ME TO HANDLE. BOY WAS I WRONG!!!!! I'M GLAD I FOUND THIS ON HERE BECAUSE I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO. THANKS


Name:
CINDY
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
31 Jul 1999

Comments

I FORGOT TO PUT MY WHOLE E-MAIL ADDRESS

THANKS SOMEONE PLEASE E-MAIL ME


Name:
Hugh
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
04 Aug 1999

Comments

I've never seen a site like this, It sure brings back many memories. I lost my daughter at the age of 14 months, my wife went to the hospital to have my son, I was so happy to have my first son. on the way to the hospital, we dropped off our daughter at the babysitter(only the 2nd or 3rd time) she was a 20 year friend who lived across the street from my folks. I felt at complete ease to do this, she raised her own 4 children and grandchildren, after dropping off my daughter I took my wife to the hospital to give birth. That evening I went to my best fiends wedding, I thought it would be better for her to spend the night if possible, I called, she said OK. The next morning I got their around 10:00 a.m., chated for about 1/2 hr, not seeing erin I figured she was taking a early nap. I said even if she is sleeping I needed to get her up so as to go see my wife in the hospitol. Then it all began! She carrried the what seemed lifeless body out to me yelling "something's wrong" her body was pure white, hair straight out and frozen in like points, eyes seeled shut with mucus. I didn't know what to do. the Marines told me start the breathing, stop the bleeding, protect the wound, treat for shock. I was frozen. I checked for a pulse, I could not tell. call for help is all I could do. after the paramedics came, I had to call my wife and tell her that her daughter was coming in. what a nightmare! after thier tests on her they told us she was 9/10th's brain dead, no hope! we had to sign papers to discontiue life support, no hope! they told us that it looked according to catscan that it looked like classic strangulation and possible molestation. things were bad enough, but to hear that was more than I could handle. I wanted complete and total revenge!! they told us it would be 1 to 3 months for an autopsy report, it took them 8 long, horrible nightmarish months. they told us she was NOT molested or touched in any way. Thank God!! but they had no idea what was the cause of death. I crawled inside a booze bottle, rejected everyone, blamed everyone, hated everyone, wanted to stop existing. then I'd look at my little boy! I had to go on, their was no choise, I had to go on, the will to live seemed to outdo the will to quit. in my opinion nothing is harder to live through than the loss of a child. this all happened in mar. 1989 the pain of the loss has dulled, never gone, I feel that when I lost her, I lost a limb, a piece of myself, i've felt handicapped in a way ever since. Life has gone on, I am actually happy today, she is with the Lord God almighty, with my grandparents, father-in-law,(who loved her dearly) and I can't wait to see her again. I lived in a pit, a dark pit for a LONG time, I could not see the top of it. believe me, anybody else in similar cases, you can go on, you can cope, don't quit. all I can say is call upon the lord with all your heart, he and he alone can heal you. and thank you all for this chance to talk, it has been a very long time since I've said anything to anyone, it feels good to get it out again. My mother wrote this poem, I'd like to share it. BROKEN DREAMS how do I tell you about this special grandchild, who entered our lives all dimples and smiles, we had wanted a child with blue eyes and curls, and hoped that the lord would send us a girl. We got what we asked for each detail exact, she looked like her mother that was a fact, her body was sturdy she grew like a weed, we thought she'd be tall and slim as a reed. How could we guess while watching her grow, that into our lives grief would soon flow, cause god had a secret that we did not know, this sweet little girl would never grow old. We had forgotten she was god's gift to give, and he never promised how long she would live, one night while she slept her breathing grew slow, and before dawns light god took back her soul. The parents were crushed when their baby died, they held her small lifeless body and painfully cried, her grandfather wept with his face to the wall, mourning this grandchild so still and so small. I miss you Erin teribly, we will embrace each other soon, Love Daddy.


Name:
Jackie Banett
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
05 Aug 1999

Comments

I have lost both my mother and father within a year and 12 days of each other. It has now been 4 months since I lost my mother and I am having a particularly sad day. I am 48 years old and I am fortunate to have a very loving support group in my husband and 3 children. Sometimes thought I do not know how to direct my sadness.


Name:
Cindy
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
05 Aug 1999

Comments

Randy, you were only 14 when you got in that car. I know the fear you felt skidding 270 feet and looking at the little tree coming straight at you. I wish I would have been there to get between you and that tree. I miss you so much, our birthday 27 July you would have been 15. You left me 09 June 1999. The worst day of my life. You were such a happy boy I miss your jokes and laughter. And coming into the house yelling MOM. Baby I will be there with you when its my turn, and I know you will be there taking my hand...I love you Randy....Mom


Name:
Cindy
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
05 Aug 1999

Comments

Randy, you were only 14 when you got in that car. I know the fear you felt skidding 270 feet and looking at the little tree coming straight at you. I wish I would have been there to get between you and that tree. I miss you so much, our birthday 27 July you would have been 15. You left me 09 June 1999. The worst day of my life. You were such a happy boy I miss your jokes and laughter. And coming into the house yelling MOM. Baby I will be there with you when its my turn, and I know you will be there taking my hand...I love you Randy....Mom


Name:
Lauren
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
05 Aug 1999

Comments

For years now, I can only recall the pure agony that goes through my mind when I hear the name 'Amy'. I remember, 2 years ago, you were brutally killed by your father. He murdered your mother first. She was beautiful and kind, and never did anything to your father or you. They found her body ina creek in Hopkington. Did you know that? If you did, were you frightened? I fear that you if you knew, you would have known your father was after you next... He took your brother and you to a lake in Masfield and gave you sleeping pills. Why, why did you except them my dear friend, why? He threw you both in a lake afterwards... I still wonder if you were asleep or awake when he did this.. My dear Amy, I pray you were asleep... I pray that you didn't know what was happening... I pray that you didn't know it was your generous, loving and humorous father who was killing you and your brother. I hope you didn't feel a thing. You should know now that your father was found stark raving mad in some woods trying to kill himself. I think he knew what he had done. He was still crazy. He is sentenced for a lifetime in jail, but even that is not enough to make up for your small blue lips and cold dead body found a week later. How could anyone be so cruel, Amy? Someone like your father? I suppose np one knows, except for you... I'll love you always! I didn't know you as well as I wish I had, but I knew enough to love and care for you, and I still know enough to miss and cherish good times with you... Love forever, Lauren


Name:
charlene
Email:
baby2920
Date:
05 Aug 1999

Comments

IT IS NOW ALMOST A YEAR SINCE YOU HAD TO LEAVE US MOM. BUT IT FEELS LIKE YESTERDAY. I CHOKE BACK THE TEARS, AND WANT TO WAKE UP TO FIND IT WAS A DREAM. BUT ITS NOT, AND I KNOW SOME DAY, I MIGHT BEABLE TO ACCEPT YOUR HAVING LEFT THIS WORLD. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MOM.


Name:
SADONE
Email:
LINKOOO
Date:
05 Aug 1999

Comments

WHERE IS ALL THE LOST SOULS. WHERE IS GOD, OUR LORD, I READ SO MUCH OF PAIN AND SADNESS, THE TIME IS ALMOST HERE, A YEAR SINCE MOM LEFT, IS SHE THERE LORD, IS SHE YOUR ANGLE, DO WE FEEL HER NEAR?


Name:
Carol
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
06 Aug 1999

Comments

On October 24, 1993 our 18 year old daughter took 4 hits of LSD and ran out onto the expressway. She was hit by 3 or more cars, not one stopped. In the following months I battled with my grief, depression, guilt, regrets, anger and court cases. One of the hit and run drivers was found. His car was not determined to be the one that caused her death. He was discovered because he bragged to many people that he had "hit a deer with jeans on". Because there was less than $300 dollars of damage done to his truck, hitting Jenny was no different that hitting debris on the road. He was not held accountable. We endured a landmark court case to bring the drug dealer up for manslaughter charges, he was acquited. The circumstances of her death left us with many questions. One of my primary questions was "why" she did this to herself. Through much research and hindsight I came to the conclusion that her death was a form of suicide. My family is split on this. We accept the way each of us has to cope with this tragedy, but it has been a long hard road. One of the things that has helped us the most is never asigning blame to anyone. We have seen so many people who in their grief will try to attach blame, as if that will make them feel better. It does not, it only leaves the griever feeling bitter, especially when the "guilty" receive no consequences. The most difficult thing we have had to overcome is guilt. When a child dies, the parent,(no matter how good a parent)feels they have failed to protect their child. When a child takes risks and dies in a shameful way, the guilt and shame can be overwhelming. The "would have, should have, could have's" hit hard. I was not a perfect mother, I worked hard to be a perfect mother but it is not an attainable goal. I am learning now to know I did the best I knew how and to forgive myself for being less than perfect. Life was a screaming agony in those early years. It has been a lot of work. But it is worth the work. My life now is dedicated to helping others in the grieving process at a hospice program. For those just starting the grief journey,take it one day at a time. You are the best judge of what you need, find those with whom you feel safe to be who you are. My prayers and thoughts are with you all.


Name:
Connie
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
07 Aug 1999

Comments

I hope you do not mind but I have added your site to my links page. I found it to be of excellent quality and information which I felt would be a help and blessing to all who come here. Healing from grief is easier when you can relate to others who are going through or have been through the experience. Thank you for the wonderful site.


Name:
Elly Moreno
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
08 Aug 1999

Comments

Thank you so much for having such a wonderful web site.. My mom passed away 6 months ago and I am having a very diffucult time dealing with her death. This site has gave me hope, and made me feel so "normal" in a very confusing stage of my life. I come here for comfort and support. I never knew that reading other people similar stories would shine light on my own personal feelings and this alone has helped me move forward. Thank you again for this great site..


Name:
kristin
Email:
Date:
11 Sep 1999

Comments


Name:
Robin
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
15 Sep 1999

Comments

Mom, I Miss You So Much,coping through this is very hard. Its been 4months and it seems so long ago, You will always be in my heart forever. You could imagine what im dealing with here, and its so hard... I dont know why you had to leave, I still cant believe it, its terrible... I Love and Miss You With All My Heart.... Forever....... if anyone would like to talk,please feel free to write,i need someone to talk to and listen.... maybe you do too.


Name:
Robin
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
15 Sep 1999

Comments

AWESOME SITE


Name:
judi
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
21 Sep 1999

Comments

I am greiving over a great many things some you may say are just a natural part of living, but the eternal emptiness that comes from these losses are allways with me. I lost my only sibling to drug addiction sixteen years ago I think I will allways resent that he waisted everything he had for nothing. I also lost both of my parents two years ago just four months apart I will allways miss them. Finally thru low self-esteem and possibly desperation I had an extra-marital affair it took me allmost twenty years of marrige to find the courage to even try to reach out to someone because sadly enough even though my huband is a great person and a wonderfull husband i never loved him i know i only married him because i felt i should, and i have allways felt guilty for that. I met Russell almost two years ago I loved him form the moment i first saw him and it took every ounce of courage i had in me to finally call him I guess i got what I deserved because he just used me my husband didn't leave me like most men would and i still don't love him and i feel guilty for that . I know that Russ never cared for me and I know i'm messed up but i also know i loved him and i always will. I carry on I go to work every day I try to act like I'm ok but I know deep down the pain won't ever go.And I know this is just cyber-space but I am greiving and I am trying very hard to be ok.


Name:
judi
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
21 Sep 1999

Comments

I am greiving over a great many things some you may say are just a natural part of living, but the eternal emptiness that comes from these losses are allways with me. I lost my only sibling to drug addiction sixteen years ago I think I will allways resent that he waisted everything he had for nothing. I also lost both of my parents two years ago just four months apart I will allways miss them. Finally thru low self-esteem and possibly desperation I had an extra-marital affair it took me allmost twenty years of marrige to find the courage to even try to reach out to someone because sadly enough even though my huband is a great person and a wonderfull husband i never loved him i know i only married him because i felt i should, and i have allways felt guilty for that. I met Russell almost two years ago I loved him form the moment i first saw him and it took every ounce of courage i had in me to finally call him I guess i got what I deserved because he just used me my husband didn't leave me like most men would and i still don't love him and i feel guilty for that . I know that Russ never cared for me and I know i'm messed up but i also know i loved him and i always will. I carry on I go to work every day I try to act like I'm ok but I know deep down the pain won't ever go.And I know this is just cyber-space but I am greiving and I am trying very hard to be ok.


Name:
Connie Campbell
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
23 Sep 1999

Comments

I lost my husband on June 13, 1999 to lung cancer. He was 37 yrs old. We were married 12 years and together since high school. I feel I am losing my mind. I'm still not sure it has hit me yet; the permanancy of it. He is the love of my life, a wonderful,good,true Christian. I know I will see him again if I can just hold on.


Name:
Mary Lundy
Email:
[email protected]
Date:
26 Sep 1999

Comments

I was here I don't know how long ago and wrote a comment about my sons murder by 5 gang members,I can't find it.I'm here today to thank everyone who e-mailed me,this is a wonderful place to come and find support and prayers.I really thought that I would be starting to get over the nightmare of my sons murder,it been 13 months and I've been to at least 30 hearings,and maybe we will be going to jury sometime in Nov. of this year.The D.A. tells me he is trying to get 25 yrs & 1 day for the 2 shooters,then they will get 25 more years for useing a gun,after they serve the 25 yrs they can go up for parole and if they get it they will still have to serve the next 25 years first.and 15 years for the driver.2 of the murders are free one turned witness for the state,and one was never charge at all.With one of them turning witness that means I won't have to get up on the stand and relive that nightmare over again but what they don't know or I guess even care about is I live it each and everyday.I'm so scared about the trial if anyone out there has anything to say that would help me face this Please e-mail me,I need help.Thank you once more. Mary