Thoughts and Ideas

My Dad's Words of Help from Daniel Lins

The best tribute you can make to a loved one is the life you live after the death.

The Suicide Battlefield by Reverend Wes Stephens


A cut finger
is numb before it bleeds,
it bleeds before it hurts,
it hurts until it begins to heal,
it forms a scab and itches
until finally, the scab is gone
and a small scar is left
where once there was a wound.

Grief is the deepest wound
you ever had.
Like a cut finger,
it goes through stages,
and leaves a scar.

Source unknown

Submitted by: Alicia Wells, a young daughter trying to deal with mom's death.
[email protected]


"Have courage for the great sorrows in life, and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake."

Victor Hugo

When we rely on other people for what we need to know, we are vulnerable to their mistakes. What others give us may be sincere and it may be genuine, but all information is a matter of how we read it. What one person says with one meaning may reach the ear of another with a different understanding. Wisdom comes from the same source regardless of where we hear it,but it is better to take the words of wisdom and work them through our own minds for direction and understanding. If we tune our ears to answers within ourselves, we will find our way.....

from "A Cherokee Feast Of Days"

Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.

Rainer Maria Rilke
"Letters to a Young Poet"

"There is a way in which I have come to see evil. A person relinquishes parts of himself, retains one fragment of his total humanity. The cleverest can represent that fragment as the whole person. The people around him don't realize he is not accountable in the same way others are, that he doesn't experience himself in the same way. There is an emptiness that can give place to anything, that permits behavior unacceptable and unthinkable to others."

Mia Farrow

A Child's Grief

My colleague's daughter, in the 3rd grade, lost her teacher to a fast cancer. The woman began the year in September, left in December, and died this month. The daughter wrote a little about it, including "I wish I could recycle time."

"Face the fact that you must grow old until you die. Develop a sense of the benign absurdity of life-yours and those around you-and thus learn to transcend the world of experience. If we can abandon our missionary zeal, we have less chance of being eaten by cannibals."

Carl Whittaker

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief or bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."

Henri Nouwen from "Out of Solitude"

Date: Fri, 06 Dec 1996 22:59:27 -0800
From: Ernest Standeven: [email protected]
Subject: A quote for the Rivendell thoughts page

This quote I came across in a book called Fireflies. It is written by the same guy who wrote the books the three Rambo movies were based on. After they were written he watched his 15 year old son die of cancer. He wrote of this experience and his son in the book Fireflies. The quote on the inside cover says it all for me after watching my 5 year old son get hit and killed by a car.

"Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak
     Whispers the o'er-fraught heart, and bids it break."   


Jack Standeven

"When you come to the edge of all that you have known, there will be two possibilities awaiting you: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught how to fly." A Turtle Creek Chorale member. (After goodbye: an AIDS story, a PBS video broadcast in 1995 and 1996 on WTVS-TV, Detroit, Channel 56.)

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