Feelings About Kids and their Parents
You feel very painful at first. You feel like something is jabbing you, like a splinter in your heart.
Sometimes in your life you may find an eclipse. This eclipse is one side you love them and one side you don’t’ sometime in your life it will get so big that you’ll have more pain than you’ve ever had before. Sometimes the sun takes over which is the good side of you. Others the shadow takes over.
Even the most you have lots and lots of pain but there is a still good side of him or her. Somewhere deep inside him or her there is the feeling that loves you most of all. Its not your fault that they broke up at all. In a way it was for your own good. You were tortured even more like hitting, punching, or yelling. My mother had torture that way, too, when she was a girl. Her mother yelled at her and screamed at her, even if it wasn’t her fault. Sometimes this may happen in your life. But still there is a good side in them.
I have had many different kinds of pain. It starts with a splinter. Then it feels like a knife. Sometimes in your life it is so bad that it pains you for the rest of your life when you think about them, like if you get married and they die.
When somebody dies in your life it feels very pain. I had a friend once named Pat. Her friend died. Then she went crazy. IT really hurts when one of your friends dies. You go crazy and then you do all sorts of bad things. It really hurts you when this happens. I lost her forever in my life. She’s still alive and I still miss her. At the time when her friend died I was five. Now I am nine. And the pain still is in me.
I had a neighbor. His friend died in a car accident right in front of him and he hasn’t bee n the same since he’s an old man now. He collects things and his house is a mess. It happened to be his best friend. And the pain still runs in him. HE was in his fifties, now he’s in his seventies and the pain still is in him.
My father broke up with my mom. He was a very good father. I loved him very much. One day they had this big argument and every time they saw each other they had these big arguments. Then mom and dad broke up. I thought it was my fault. But it wasn’t my fault. I discovered to make me feel better there’s many other kids who have these problems. Go to the library. There are books about them. Maybe it will cheer you up as they did me. But the pain still is in me. I’m not sure that the pain will ever leave but at times it will get weaker and sometimes stronger.
When you are grown up, and are going to college or sometime when you’re in your twenties or thirties, and your father or mother dies or your friend who has hurt you, the pain is very hard on you. And the pain will be even worse than it was before. Sometimes it may happen with your kids. So remember the advice I said cause it may help another future.
©Copyright Elizabeth L. B. Lynn, 16 December 1995
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