In Loving Memory of
Catherine "Cathy" Williams Rector
April 15, 1924 - February 8, 1992

Carroll Sanford Rector, Jr
March 13, 1928 - January 15, 1995

My Mother died from a brain injury sustained in an automobile accident on 10-25-91.  Losing Mom has to this date, been the most traumatic event in my life.  I had just turned 30, it was supposed to be my golden year.  It was anything but that.  Yet, I am forever thankful for the 30 years that my Mother was a part of my life.

My Father was found on 1-18-95, apparently dying of a massive heart attack.  I was the last one he tried to contact and as best I can tell, he actually died the night of the 15th.  Losing Dad not quite three years after Mom was very difficult, but he was never the same after Mom died so tragically, and his leaving brought me greater peace as I knew they were together again.

I can't tell you how much having griefnet for support has done for me.  In between the time that my Mother and Father died, I got Daughter is my gift from my Mother, and they look just like one another. I then married the Father, only to separate two months before my Father died.

It has been a long six years since my Mother passed and in that time I have lost several others and have grown quite a bit.  Many think that I should be "over it" by now, but as you well know, grief is not something that we just "get over". So, being an adult orphan, GriefNet has become family to me and a much needed outlet for expressing my grief as those around us go on with their lives leaving us to follow the lonely path of grief.  But, I am no longer lonely, thanks to griefnet.  And, I know that Mom and Dad are smiling down on me.

October 1998 marks the 7th anniversary of Mom's accident.  My Daughter is turning five next tuesday.  I can hardly believe how quickly the time has passed.  Yet, for the first time since I lost Mom, I do not feel such oppression as the season changes to fall.  I have had very few bouts of grief this past year and none have left me with feelings of despair.  That is a good sign to me that I am truly healing and learning how to incorporate my loss into my life.

My birthday came this past last weekend and I was in the mountains camping and sat there early in the morning and had a little chat with Mom and Dad.  They may be gone physically, but never will be gone spiritually.  I am so thankful that GriefNet is here for those in need.  And, I am honored to be a part of the network of wonderful people brought together by it's presence.

I read this quote from a Robert Heinlein book, at my Mothers' memorial service, and I have always felt this thought to be my last words to my parents...

"May the long time sun shine upon you
All love surround you
And may the pure light within you
Guide your way home"

We have all come together for the same reason...we have lost someone.  No matter what the loss, the grief process exists for us all.  I'm glad that I have found a family that understands the ups and downs of such losses.  And maybe my lessons learned by losing both of my parents will help to make another's journey a little easier through the process of sharing.  It is a comfort to know that we do not walk this path alone.

GriefNet | In Memoriam