I'm not sure what to say to you, as you lie dying far away, but I know there is Something that I must say. I don't know how to grieve for you, or if I even should. Even you must agree, our relationship was never good. But now when you lie dying, what I grieve the most, all the chances you have missed, now that they are lost. Did you ever want to be the one I called when deep in need, or were you content to be the last to whom I would conceed? I know you'll never read this, or know just what I say, but it may be read by someone else, on another day. Someone who will wonder to whom I speak, wonder who am I to have so much cheek? But you and I will both know that all I write is true. Once you are gone there's not much damage you can do. Soon you will understand how I have longed to love you as a granddaughter should. You will know how I needed to hear from someone I am good. But YOU, caught up in all the tangled webs you weave, Your only intention to deceive. YOU raised for me a mother who was just as neurotic as you, now, I ask you, what was I suposed to do? I never had a friend in my family, not even in you, although I always tried doing what it was RIGHT to do. I never needed your money, only your love, and now when you will soon be watching, from somewhere up above, will you look down and love me like you should have done before? And will it even matter once they have closed the door?
R. I. P. Tania
Memorials, First Quarter 2000 | Main Index, Memorials
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