In Loving Memory of
Kristen David Silins


My darling Kristen was born on the 7th of May 1980 12 minutes after his twin sister Asha. He died accidentally on the 13th May 2001 just 21 years and 6 days old.

He was the youngest of my 5 children, Danny 34, Lisa 33, Jodie 30 and Asha 21. He had 3 nieces Kaylee 12, Sarah 9 and Melissa 9.

Kristen we miss you every minute of every day. Nothing is the same without you. Asha dreamed about you last night and she said you told her you knew you were going to die. It was such a shock to us. The police came and I knew it was you they were coming to see me about and I knew you had died before they told me. I saw you at the morgue and I hoped it wasn't you but it was and I didn't like the way they had your hair. I could only see a bit in the front because they had a sheet on your head it looked stupid and the hair I could see was wrong. It seems really silly but it bothered me.

Wally told me I should have the funeral I wanted to have and not let anyone talk me out of it. He did not know what I had decided so I was suprised when he said that. I waited until we had been to identify you and Asha and Jodie had arrived before I told them what I wanted. The girls were happy but every one else thought it was impossible and thought they would let the Funeral Director tell me. Instead he said I could do exactly what I wanted.
I hope you were there but if not I will tell you all about it. Firstly I wanted you to come home one more time. I needed to see you at home again. Secondly I wanted it to be on Saturday because I wanted everyone to be able to come and I wanted to make a day of it. Thirdly I wanted you to be buried at Happy Valley Cemetery and use my Uncles grave. He died nearly 70 years ago and he was only 15 years old and he died accidentally too.
The day of your funeral was like being in a Movie nothing was real. Susan, Sandra, Robyn and Kaye planned everything and David and Laura helped a lot. Cathy and Alex drove over and even Trevor helped. We made a CD of your favourite music and we had 400 balloons. The funeral people bought you home at about 10.30am and Wally, Rob, Adam, Scott, David and Trevor carried you in. I wanted you to go into Wally's garden with the pond and all the flowers. It looked really great with the ferns, plants, flowers and candles. The sound of water from the fountain and the music playing made it all seem so right. We spent time with you until your friends came and then they went into see you. Everyone seemed to give you something special to take with you. At 12 noon we started the talking part. You should have heard the wonderful things people said about you. Asha and Jodie made me cry with what they said and Lauren told us secrets you two had and then the boys and Jessica said wonderful things about you. Then the balloons were handed out and every one was very suprised about them. Laura had blown them up in our room and not many people knew about them. They played 'Time of your Life' and then when they played 'Born to be Wild' everyone let their balloon go. It was just the most amazing sight to see all those balloons go up together. They went past the school and I am sure they went down to the Seacliff.
Then 6 more of your mates carried you out to the hearse and Asha went with you on your last drive. We went down the road past Sandy and Trevor's then past the school and up to the Lonsdale Highway. The police were there to let us onto the highway. I wanted everyone to toot their horn like you used to do when we were on the highway going past our house. It was good that we could see our house from the highway. Then the police held up all the traffic coming up the hill so we could turn into Majors road and then they held up all the traffic on Main South Road it was so good and there were so many cars. When we got to the Cemetery Jarrod, Ben, Luke, Lachlan, MV and Mordie carried you over to your grave. Asha led the boys, as you know she would and then she came and stood behind me and had her arms around my neck the whole time. The guys from your work did the Haka, which was a real honour, and then the Baptist Minister said nice things about you and some prayers. Then we all put a flower on your coffin and said goodbye. We all came back here and had a party. Everyone was very sad but we did laugh a bit because you did do some funny things and we were remembering you.
Asha and all your friend wanted to go to the Seacliff so about 4.30 they all walked down to the station and caught the train and no one had a ticket. I thought that was the best. They didn't get caught so it turned out to be a great idea. There were a lot of your mates there and Jarrod lost it and got very upset so the police came but they just asked them to leave because they knew what had happened to you. They all went to the flats and continued until the police were called again because of the music and they all left and came back to Hallett Cove in the middle of the night.
It was a great day you would have loved it.
Now we are left to get on with our lives with out you. Not very easy you know seeing how you meant so much to us. It's nearly 5 months since we saw you and we all want to see you again. We didn't know you were going but you did see us all before you went. I had you for exactly 21 years. It was about the same time you were born 8.22pm when I said goodbye to you and then I never saw you alive again. You had 6 more days to live but we never saw each other again. You tried to ring me on the Saturday but I was out. I wish I had been home to talk to you.
Please try and come and see me again and tell me what you have been doing. I would like you to come and spend some time with me. I am having trouble coming to grips with you going so suddenly. I wish I were with you when you died so you knew how much you meant to me. You did know though didn't you? Danny is trying very hard to have a normal life. Perhaps you could go and give him a bit of help if you have time. Lisa and Jodie are doing ok but miss you so much. They need a visit too. Melissa is always dreaming about you and thinks you can do all sorts of tricks. When Douglas their dog ran away she prayed to you and the next day someone found him and they got him back. You never saw Douglas because they only got him the day you died. Remember it was Mothers Day. I waited all day for you to come and see me and then I just about gave up and the police came. Now I know why you didn't come you couldn't.
I hope the place you are in is good. Some people say when you are dead you go to a better place but it's a bit hard with you because you were happy here. You liked your life and it looked good to me.
Thank you for being my son and I love you with all my heart. See you soon I hope.
Love from Mumma xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Elizabeth Silins


  

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