In Loving Memory of
Beverly A. Rogers


Dear Mom, You were an amazing lady. You fought harder and longer than anyone should ever have to fight. So many health problems and disabilities...the past ten years were a gift, to us, your family. But for you, it was no picnic. You just wouldn't give up. You finally told the doctors "If you can't fix it, don't even tell me about it" You already had enough to worry about, too many meds to keep track of, too many doctor visits. But still, you kept busy. Making your crafts for us, going shopping and out to eat with Dad. (He was a shining star, keeping you from being housebound.) Always, on the go. Even after your body wouldn't go anymore, Dad made sure you had your scooter. So much loading and unloading. It was hard to believe, at the end, that you wouldn't rally and cheat death once again. You'd been doing it for so many years. Your poor body just couldn't pull you through this time. Of the many health problems you had, wouldn't you know, it would take something totally from left field to finish you. You heart was okay, lung were okay, all the rest was in check. But a ruptured pancreas allowed all that poison to spread throughout your body. Your poor, weak, wornout body. You were too tired to fight anymore. Saying goodbye to you, was the single most heartwrenching, terrifying thing I've ever done. It was also one of the most beautiful. Waiting, telling you it was time for you to go, it was okay for you to go....all I could think of was "NO!! DON'T GO" But it was your time. Time for you to be free. Free of the pain, free of the fear. Free to move on, to a place of peace and glory. I know, in my heart, that you're in a better place. A longed-for serene place. Without the trials and tribulations that broke your heart, but never your will. I also know that, no matter what, you'll always be here, in our hearts, and our prayers, and our thoughts. You took a giant part of our lives with you that day, there's an emptiness that becomes unbearable sometimes. But you do live on...in our memories and our love. You are a part of all those, whose lives you touched. Thank you, Mom, for giving birth to me. For giving me the opportunity to become who I am, for the advice (even if I didn't listen) and for not rubbing it in when you were right. Thank you for being my friend, and for showing me what true courage is. Thank you for being my Mom. I miss you so much more than I thought I would. I still wait for you to call me, I think of something I want to ask you or something I can't wait to tell you about...then I remember that you're gone. It only takes a split second to remember, but every time, it's like losing you all over again. People say it gets easier, maybe it will. Right now, I don't believe I'll ever get used to you not being here. I love you, Mom.

From your loving daughter, Carol A Tracy


  

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